Another April 9th

As some of you who know me well know - April 9th has always been a tough day for me. I have written about this before so I won't bore you with it. 

However, this year, I remembered this poem which I have run into a few months ago, and it made me smile. 

It made my heart fill with a painful joy it made me sigh with relief and gratefulness, like when you realize everything you ever thought to be true about yourself and the world was just an ugly dream, and the only thing real is this second. Right now. Feel your wrist and count your pulsations. That's it. Now, go spend them with that stupid grin of happiness smeared on your aging face. Go. And never be sad again, as long as you are on this side of dirt.

Good News (Marina Tsvetaeva)

Alive and well!
Louder than thunder -
Like an ax -
Joy!
...
Stunned,
Awed.
What instead -
Cry?
...
So, am I alive?
My eyelids closed,
Breathing, I call -                                           
Do you hear?
...                 
Dead - and risen?!
Just enough for a sigh,
A stone from the sky,
A crowbar
.
On the head -
No, up to the hilt
A sword in the breast -
Joy!

 

 Thanks to my grandma, maia, the official bloom of April 9th will forever be the narcissus.