Man, I was in one of those moods today! Usually, the full moon sets it off, for me, but today was especially negative! Nothing was looking up! Stupid drivers. Stupid people. Stupid work. Incompetence. A mess in my finances (not my fault!). Stupid questions. “Shoveling (everybody else’s) shit throughout the day”. You know – one of those days.
And my response to it all was crank! I tell you what, my mood was so rotten, if there was a new born puppy in my way today, I would have for sure kicked it! Just nothing, not a thing, made me realize that I was still breathing – and in fact, I need to be grateful for that, at least! Nothing.
And then, I came home. And after starting my chores, I went outside and went on watering my yard. And all of a sudden, I looked up. There was that crazy, Western light in the air, where everything is crisp! The yellows are the yellowest and the greens the greenest and the sky the bluest – so crisp, your eyes hurt. I didn’t have a camera to capture it, but if I did no setting was required for the camera: I would have pointed and shot, and the picture would have come out perfect. That’s how insanely clear and beautiful and rich the light was.
And in the 90+ degree evening there was almost a breeze in the air, and my plants beneath my water were breathing and sighing … The clouds were casting clear shadows onto the green of the mountains, and my brain, for the first time, cleared up.
And then, I looked down and saw, in between my millions of rocks in the front yard, a $5 bill. A whole $5 I did not have before! I picked it up and handed it to my husband. I never, and I mean never win or find anything. What could this mean? I still don’t know, but I no longer care.
A couple of seconds later I looked down again and the most beautiful rock is peaking amongst all the others, all the layers of Utah soil frozen in this one little pebble. And I smiled, for the first time, I think, today. I did. And I thanked life and nature for its gifts and for reminding me that there are things I should be grateful for, no matter how dark my darkness is …
I hope all of you can find something, however small, to give you a reason to hope. Whether you look up, or down, I hope you know life is special, just because we’re here and just because of the possibilities. In this world, no darkness nor light is forever and it’s hard, in the trap of our everyday existence, to remember that simple truth.
I hope something gives you a reason, however small, to smile. Even something as trivial as a dollar bill.
My small things ...