Tuesday, September 27, 2005

What Am I Missing?

I’m not sure what the future will bring, but seeing my cat smile while I’m on the yoga mat, and purring, I know, somehow, that I’m in the right place. I have a home, all my own, I am completely independent and I feel free most of the time. I love the people I have close to me, and I got rid of the “poisonous” ones. My calendar was saying the other day (a quote): “I date nice people, I have a good job, and a nice home, what am I missing”; the answer was: ”Trust me, if you’re asking that, you’re missing it”… - and that’s how I feel! I’m reading “Transitions” and hopefully I will learn how to have more patience for my “temporary” status, and also, I will understand better what’s going on in my life now, in my 30’s. Who wants to go through the “mid-life crisis” when they have the 30’s?! That’s insane: like the same punishment twice! I’m trying to cope with the fact that I am a single woman, yet not single, because I have a boyfriend who’s not promising me the future, it’s just promising me the “right now”. And because the “right now” is good and happy, I’m supposed to live with it, and not ask for more. Almost a month ago, we almost broke up, and then decided it’s not the right thing to do: so, instead, we’re in this “not sure what we are or what we’re doing” state that will probably be forever, or so long and late that there will be nothing left for us to do. No options left… But I’m not supposed to plan and think of the future… And I’m trying not to plan, until…one day… Not today though… Today we’re having schnitzel and mashed potatoes and salad for dinner, and a glass of wine, or beer, and today it’s a summer day in the fall (it’s the Carolinas), and today, we are happy; so we declare.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Learn to Be Humble

Growing up and dreaming that one day I would be privileged enough to live in the “best nation” in the world (i.e. USA), I never thought a disaster like Katrina could ever happen to the “land of opportunities”… Seeing the waters and the people floating away, and the millions of houses drowned and the people with no life left, no place to go back to, I felt like my own life was crushed! I felt like one of those millions of kids raped by their own parents! I felt cheated by whoever represented America, in my dreams of a lifetime: that they didn’t have the ability and the sufficient care to protect what’s most precious in a nation: their people.
My own country, a Third World Eastern European country, was drowned by severe flooding this year, but less than 100 people died, out of a nation of 25+ million people!
And here, we have countless bodies, we’re not even sure how many thousands of them! But THIS is America!!! How can THIS happen to the greatest nation in the world, especially the nation that has the guts to go out there and tell other people how to live?!? How can this be?!!
Again, my guess is one that haunts America every day, and will bring it to their end, if they’re not careful: their ignorance and empty pride! “ We are Americans” “The best nation” “Most powerful” “In God we Trust!”… We don’t need to worry about our own yard, “In God We Trust”, we’re blessed, nothing ever can happen to us! A little humility can be learned from Katrina. And also, when you have a town of the size and the value of New Orleans you invest every penny you have to build those levees as high as the sky! You don’t cut the budget to put more money in God knows what else?!? Amsterdam is under the sea level and has an intricate web of canals, but the levees keep the sea waters where they belong, in the sea! But, again, this is America. We cannot think of what Amsterdam has been thinking (and doing) for ages?!?
I hope the Government now learns to be humble most of all, and learns to fear nature, if not all the other threats that are real and imminent, if we’re not watching. And also learns once and for all that America has always been the “New World”: maybe it’s time they learned something from the “Old One” and practice some of the learning, just like a child does from the grown-ups. It can only be for their own good!