Be Careful What You Wish For…

For about 5 years now I have been studying yoga and reading a lot about the yogic tradition of living in the ‘now’. To this day, the biggest challenge for me is to stay in the present moment, both on the mat and outside of it, and to live the ‘now’ to the fullest. Being an Aries and having Latin blood through my veins, it’s hard to keep me focused as it is; living in America where everything is so fast makes it even harder…
But what is a woman to do when she is told by her boyfriend of 3 and ½ years that my dreams of the future are not the same as his: that my desire never to have children as well as my plan to live in the city we live in now for at least 5-6 more years are not his plans – 2 very big decisions in dating someone successfully, right?!… He's also not sure whether we should move in together any time soon, or put all our pets under the same roof... Neither of us want to break up with each other, because what we have NOW is wonderful. But we both know, what we want tomorrow is different… However, we decided to stay together for the now…
We just made this decision not long ago, and my first impulse is try to “dream” about how it will all work out: but, you see, I can’t do that, for fear of disappointment: I have no idea where we’re going to be in this relationship a year from now, and yet, this insecurity needs to be put aside and I have to allow myself to be happy about what we have now: the laughs, and companionship, the travels, the family stories, curiosity and respect about life in general, the pets, the shop talk, since we both work in the same place etc… We are sure what we as individuals want for your future lives are not similar things – at least now. Can that change? We’re not sure, but we’re both very stubborn and set in our ways, too, so most likely, not… We’ll see… And thus, asking all these years that I learn, for once how to live in the now and be happy with the now, and stop searching for what’s next, I got “blessed” with the most radical life change of all: in order for me to have any kind of daily happiness, I will have to be able to enjoy every moment of every day, and not a second later… No one can tell me what the “later” will look like, should it be here at all…