Sunday, February 17, 2008

Yep! I am chicken!

I hate to sound like a broken record, but you know how much I love my dad. And my dad can be a royal pain in the butt, but sometimes, about some things, he knows best: “sometimes - he says - things help ‘in absentia’ more than they ever will otherwise!”

I almost did it! I “interviewed” all my friends who have met online and got their opinion. I even talked to those who got married as a result of an online date and I was impressed by their recommendations! I have talked to one of my best friends who, I thought, was as skittish (old fashioned, conservative, insert your “guarded” adjective here) as me about online dating and who, recently, turned "modern" and uninhibited on me and started dating "online"... I thought that he and I were the only single souls in America not sold on the online dating craze. But, nope, I was alone ...

I even bought a book (always, my resources!), with a given-up title: "Fine: I’ll Go Online", about why and how you should date online. I even opened up a free account with E-harmony, "just" to see what my profile says and what matches I am being delivered”. Ok, ok, you get the picture: I was still on the fence, but very much over it, too, barely hanging on to it, before I touched the ground on the other side...That is, before I was to start putting myself out there, to try "online" dating, too ... Since the normal, day-to-day kind of dating has not worked for me for a while now ... Not that I am “that” desperate, but weekend trips can be lonely without a partner and cold winter nights even colder. Heck, we ALL need companionship, right?! So, I was sold. Almost. Till tonight anyway...

Tonight, I peeked at my "free of charge" matches from E-harmony. The matches are "real", but you don't get to communicate with them unless you pay, which I haven't yet. And I won't! I won't because one of the matches E-harmony delivered is a guy I know. And a guy that I tried to date. Desperately (almost), crazily single-ly tried to date. A guy that I met in the real world, on a real date, with whom I had many real dates … and who contributed to two of the most frustrating and confusing weeks of my life. He left me with a more bitter taste than bile acids can leave ... and he is now, one of my computer generated (how else??) matches on E-harmony.com. I was flabbergasted, amused, mad, and ... really, really, relieved! Relieved that I didn't sign up for an online dating site, that is... E-harmony is supposed to give you “leads” on relationships that might possibly work for you, with your personality traits… Relationships that will bring you to your "soul mate" and promise happiness for ever. Have you seen those commercials?! But this guy was “a cold trail” as Deputy Andy Brennan, in “Twin Peaks”, says about his love interest. I was amused!

Tonight I realized (yep, I am slow AND na├»ve), just like the junkie gambler who plays the casino and the machines for years and finally realizes he cannot beat a computer and gives up, that that's all that online dating is! It's a gamble! And just like the junkie gambler, you're playing the computer. It's the computer that "finds your matches", really ... Now, maybe you have some gambling luck to speak of! I don't! With my luck at gambling, thank you very much, I'll pass! Now, if you factor in my luck at dating, I am REALLY screwed! So, I think I'll leave the $120 in my pocket for now, and take myself on some real sushi dates with a movie at the end. At least I'll get the food, and some quality alone time with a bag of popcorn! Now, THAT's real! And to this day, has never disappointed me! Of course, the cold winter nights are still outstanding, so if you know someone out there who would like to join me… please send them this way, and I’ll share the popcorn…For now, no online dating for me, and still just a firm belief in Karma, and Fate and all old-fashioned things my mom used to talk about. At least they are monetarily free...

Of course, you'll hear first if there is a change... For sure. But, boy, was I close to almost being there ... Phew! What a relief!! Thank you, E-harmony! You have noooo idea !!!

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