Sunday, February 07, 2010

New Year’s Resolution – of Sorts …

Just like you would expect, a boy puts a ring on my finger and I freak out and start dieting . It’s not that I am fat, by all definitions, I think , it’s just that now, I am overcritical of my figure, because I don’t look as slim as I did when I was 18! … Insert your stereotypical bride joke here … I won’t deny it … All of a sudden, I am obsessed with who I am not anymore.

I have been shopping for dresses lately, and man, all of a sudden, my true and tried sizes are too small! Only by a hair, but still! Or they look like crap on my out of shape body! This is what you get for getting married after The Holidays, I figured. Or after 30!

And this is how I discover that I am getting old and rusty, too. And losing 5 lbs in a week by eating salads only doesn’t do the trick anymore … And today, after a lovely chat with my dad, I realized, I need to be reasonable! I need food, and starving is not a solution. And sometimes, what I might think it’s gaining weight might just be part of the whole aging process. As long as I don’t jump BMI brackets – I am fine. Nothing like a good talking with dad to bring me back to earth and talk some sense into me!

He said: “Honey, I want you to write this down, and frame it somewhere! In fact, I really think you should write to whoever is in charge, and this should be written on the Time Square ball when it drops for New Year’s every year in New York City. Just so ALL Americans be aware of it”.

I go, with doubt in my voice and eyes rolling: “OK, dad! What is it?!”
Him: “Are you writing it down? It’s important! You need to frame it!”

Me: “OK! Shoot!”

Him: “This is supposed to be your motto for the year. And definitely for the wedding. So, here it comes: Stress makes you fat. Dieting is stressful. Done. Do you understand?!”

And just like that – in those very simple words, I understood!

Then, he goes on a lecture about how this year will be nothing but stress, and I need nourishment to carry me through it! And to stop starving myself and just let life roll. And he is so right. I need to love myself before I put myself to the tasks I have planned for this year. In any shape.

So, I’ll watch portions and I’ll make time to walk … but I should not kill myself … Hunger makes me very cranky, anyway. And like any reasonable person out there, I know that stress holds on to fat as comfort … And I’ll just need to get a size or half of a size bigger dresses for the wedding.

After all, I am not 18 anymore! And I need to embrace my age. However rusty and metabolism-slowing it is! And something tells me my man would not care much if my dress came in a size 1 or a 1 and ½! Yes, they have 1 and ½’s out there!! Or even a 2! I hope … No: I know!

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