25 Years

25 years ago today, I boarded a KLM flight from Bucharest, Romania, where I said "goodbye" to my tearful parents, sister, and a childhood friend, en route to Amsterdam for a brief layover. After that, I boarded a Northwest flight to Atlanta, GA onward to my very first visit to the USA. 

My mom would tell you that after I passed passport control in Bucharest, I waved them goodbye one last time, and headed for the gate, without ever glancing back. 

I came here on a Business Visa that was to expire in exactly 4 months, on May 19. On that day, January 19, 1998, I had no way to envision that you could build a while life in as little as 4 months! But dad was very adamant: "You make it or break it in those 4 months. You might never see another visa again, so make it worthwhile!" I was not yet 23. 

My 'to do' list was pretty short, but ballsy, nonetheless. I didn't know what the future would bring, but if the future offered me to stay in America (which was my dad's wish for me ever since I could remember), I wanted a couple of few things:

• A legal status. 
• A job small enough to be able to perform with my education at the time (English major graduate) without having to go back to school, and big enough to afford me to live a decent life - a small place to live, a small but reliable car, some pocket money to travel once or twice a year.
• Some sort of treatment for my genetic condition which was predicting that I would not make it past the age of 25. I so wanted to live past that fast-approaching age! 
• To be free. To be truly free to be who I am, without apologies. To not pay bribes for the rest of my life for things that are my rights. To be free to speak my mind without fear that some government functionary would take their power tripping on me just 'cause they can. 

That was about it. You can call it "my American dream".

Northwest is long gone - I almost cried when it became Delta. That was my plane! My Mayflower, if you will! I have learned more things than I can count, and I have aged by many decades, physically, and by centuries emotionally and mentally. I have had my moments at the top of the mountain, victorious and lonely, and I have had more joy than anyone should be allowed in a lifetime. I have been truly blessed. I have had my heart broken more times than I can count. By people, by love, by governments, by times ... But all in all, I have felt fortunate and oh, so undeservingly and hopelessly lucky! 

On such an important day for me, I don't feel accomplished, I don't feel short-changed, nor disappointed that I have not done more. I feel at peace. I truly hope I see many more anniversaries, but if this were to be my last one, I'd be pretty pleased. More than anything - I feel tired and ready for more - all at the same time. 

I hope that the next 25 will be half as eventful as these first 25. And today, I am without a "to do" list. Today, I just want to never forget that when you truly mean to accomplish something, 4 months is enough! 

It was a plane like this one that brought me over on my first journey. I will never forget it!