It’s About Gratitude. Not About the Crowd Size.

Speaking about Thanksgiving with folks this year, before the actual day, had one thing in common: everyone was planning for big parties! Not many were talking about dishes they'd make or drinks they wanted to try. But everyone made sure they started with "it's gonna be a good crowd." Everyone was getting together with their families, their friends, their friends’ friends and their neighbors’ friends.

One coworker said his family is so large, there will be 70 of them for Thanksgiving so his mom, the traditional hostess, had to rent a space at their church to accommodate everyone. I cannot imagine having this large a crowd for a yearly holiday meal. I had 10 people at my wedding and that included the two of us. 

I am not sure it’s by choice, maybe our lives chose this, not us - but we’ve mostly always spent Thanksgiving with just the two of us. There were exceptions but so few and far between that I cannot even remember when they happened. 

Don't get me wrong - I am a fan of big parties with lots of noise and lots of eating, drinking, and dancing ... I grew up on them! But for some reason, my own life took a different turn. And I have been able to enjoy the quiet of a one-person or a two-person celebration, too.

This made me think back at the three years in my life when I spent Thanksgiving alone. Just alone, if you're not counting the cats. And I never felt left out somehow. I have particularly enjoyed this holiday because it’s almost the only one that is really just about the food and nothing else. That and counting your blessings. And food is a blessing ... So many people don’t have the minimum of it to survive. 

Among other things, Christmas is also about the presents and the tree; Easter (my favorite) is about going to church and all the rituals; New Years is a drinking and music holiday. But Thanksgiving is just food. You can be a glutton and it’s OK, because you’re celebrating bounty. 

But if you’re alone this year and maybe feeling a little down, take it from me - you don’t need to ... As someone who has spent several Thanksgivings (and many other holidays too) alone, here’s a list of things you can enjoy and hope you can be grateful about: 

• You can cook your own comfort food, not whatever is mandated by tradition. Not a fan of stuffing or sweet potatoes? You want French fries instead? Do it! 
• There is no one to criticize your cooking. No one to tell you the turkey is too dry and the stuffing too wet ... 
• Don't count calories. Who cares you cannot zip up your pants? You’re alone. Wear sweats! 
• Watch as much tv as you want. No one to fight over the remote with. David Attenborough sounds more appealing than a football game? Do it ... 
• Nap to your heart’s content. 
• Take a walk in the middle of the day just because. Or don’t. You’re not offending anyone.  
• Repeat.
• If you did cook, enjoy leftovers for so many more days than when you would split them with many others.
• Drink a nightcap or 10. Who’s counting? 
• Even if you’re not in the mood to cook, make some cookies and make the house smell good
• Enjoy the time off from work.

Be grateful for all of this. For little things like fuzzy socks and non-stick cookware, and for the big things like the roof over your head, your car, and not lastly, your health, or at least your mobility if you have it. 

Focus on all of these things, and think about the bounty that is your life.. I wish we could all always appreciate what we do have rather than mourn what’s not there ... But the human monkey mind doesn’t work this way ... Maybe this could be a good reminder ...  

Billions of people on this planet don't have these luxuries. How lucky should you really feel that you have all or more things like these available to you? 

Of course we could and should be grateful every day. But I do like special days when important things are brought into focus and are not lost in the shuffle of every day. Like love, and gratitude, like life and the celebration of what has been achieved or the welcome celebration of a new page that is just getting started ... And Thanksgiving is one of these days ...

Life is short. Enjoy the little or the very much you already have! Your very little is someone else's jackpot or dream. Be grateful for everything you do have, for it is never forever ... 

Happy Thanksgiving!