Monday, December 19, 2005

30 and Counting…At the Bridge Between the Years…

Well, we’ve been together for 4 Christmases now. Same thing over and over again: at his parents’ house, lots of presents that we all “wish” on the Christmas wish lists, lots of whoos and aawwws and we move on, pass over in another year. The last one this time, though, so… momentous!
I’m done wrapping and buying and preparing, and not done cooking yet, but will be in a couple of days. I also have to travel to Charlotte, NC for my fingerprinting for my pending citizenship application ( the day before Christmas) and I’m excited about that. I’m also planning to see my Romanian family next March and my Canadian resident sister in the following fall, and maybe buying a house or maybe (just maybe) getting involved in the Real Estate business at all next year ( JUST to wow my ex-husband who thought I was never real estate material at all)…I need to stir some waters, plan some sh^t, since I’m 30, soon to be 31 and lonely, alone and feeling unaccomplished… Will figure something out eventually for the new year. Right now, busy streets, busy work, end of the year craziness at the major paper in the county, tree decorating madness, Christmas get-togethers with friends you really don’t want to see but have to, your life falling apart in the eve of a new year but you gotta pretend it’s a joyous occasion, holding breath when typing (sign of stress), blood pressure going up, Penguin wine tasting darn fine, even maybe against doctor’s orders (who cares? Life’s short, right?!), traffic madness, can’t wait for the next trip excitement, alone, and lonely and feeling for the first time in months empowered and strong. Old timy taste in the mouth of boiled red wine with bay leaves in the Romanian mountains, kissing and aroused. Andy near, and happy… Feeling love in the soul, although not near and not now. Living off of the memories this year… Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. No, really, honestly, a happy and a merry one! Hope for all… 

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