Sunday, November 12, 2006

I’m “single”, NOT “stupid”!

Yeah, you heard me: single NOT stupid! I know they both start with the same letter, but God help you if you get them mixed up! With my fiery temperament, I have no tolerance anymore for people who get that mixed up, or assume I am stupid, anyways, single or not…
So, I get into this car crash, right?! And I need a rental, right?! While my car is in that shop (luckily not totaled). So, Mr. Rental Car Guy shows up to pick me up at my door, and take me to the Rental Car place to rent the wheels that are going to get me through the one month ahead. And Mr. Rental Car Guy decides to flirt with me, although he’s probably 24 and I am … much… his senior. I don’t say my age; I am not asked. I am “assumed”… I guess: young, stupid, and gullible!
He proceeds to tell me (I never asked!) that he was in fact offered scholarships “for academics” to universities such as Harvard, Yale, UCLA, and 3 others (I stopped listening after Harvard and Yale, all right!) and to Auburn, Alabama (figure THAT!), UNC and 3 others for “athletics scholarships”. And in the end, he chose … Guilford College! He is from Mobile, Al, originally! So, of course, he would choose a Southern school! Ok, why not Auburn or Alabama, you might ask?! I did too! Ask myself, that is! I was too busy stifling the laughter in his sad face to ask HIM! He goes on to tell me that he chose Guilford College because of the “community work” they do! Forgive me if I am judgmental, but although I am not really familiar with that program, I know you can be of help to the community if you, as an individual choose to do so! And to refuse such pristine education in favor of community work that you might do anyways, along with the pristine education seems highly unbelievable to me. Ok… I am being judgmental!
Then, he learns I am bilingual, and he proceeds to tell me that in fact he speaks 5 languages fluently: French, Italian, Spanish, Latin, and American sign language; oh, yeah, and English of course! An by the time he is 40 he would like to speak 10 languages all in all, but he already has gotten a heads start on Japanese, of which he speaks some. I wanted to say: “Just because you can say ‘Merci’ and ‘Bojour’, it doesn’t mean you’re fluent in French!” – but again … busy laughing within myself…
The entire time, I am looking at this guy, and with all his “Athletics” scholarships under his belt … I cannot see an athlete in him! I see an acne face, beer gut, couch potato, second class rental car clerk who’s trying really hard to overcome his Southern accent.
How stupid do you think some people must me to believe you turned down Harvard an Yale for a no-name private college with no history to speak of in Sports, either, just to graduate and rent cars for a living?! Oh, yeah, the reason for working for the said rental car place is: “they plant trees”. Hhhmm… ok!
I just never understood I guess the pathological liars. Do they need to make THEMSELVES look good to THEMSELVES?! Because to us, they just dropped down a few HUGE notches as plain idiots!
And as for the single part: do you think I’d rather date a Harvard drop out than a real Harvard grad?! Or do you think I feel better renting from a Harvard drop out than from a Harvard grad?! Why even drop the name, dude?! What’s the point?! And take this piece of advice from someone old(er than you): if you at any point got an acceptance scholarship from Harvard, do yourself a favor and frame it and hang it right next to your Guilford College degree! Trust me: it’s JUST as impressive!
But for now: you’re just sinking under the weight of your own name dropping! So: good luck swimming …!

1 comment:

Kehaar said...

Why is it you always end up meeting the pathological liars? At least you didn't marry this one! :)