Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Just Observing the World

Random thoughts on a quiet April night … of all sorts ...
Apologies in advance for those feathers which will be ruffled or those eyes which will be polluted.

I have a nest of birdies above my door. I love them, as I love my plants and my cats, almost! I guess the maternal instinct in me loves to watch things “grow” and live. There used to be one birdie in the nest. She looked frazzled and skittish. Every time I’d open the door, she’d fly away. Now there are two. I am guessing, she found a mate. Woo-hoo! I’ll have babies next to watch! I cannot wait. Now, every time I look up at the nest, one birdie always looks asleep, and the other is on the lookout for noises and what might happen next. I am (almost) betting my yearly paycheck the one on the lookout is the momma, and the daddy is just asleep and lazy. But then again, I might be wrong.

I found a wine at the store, whose name is “Oops…”. The “subtitle” (can wines have those?) is “Mistakes Happen”. Hhmm… I guess that’s what you should have to drink before a one night stand you’ll regret for the rest of your life, or before you get knocked up. They’ll ask you: “what happened?”, and it’ll be fun to say: “well, we both had a glass of Oops and that did it!”. It’s all in the wine – isn’t that what Romans taught us?!

Browsing the fish counter in the store, I read the salmon label: “Fresh Atlantic Salmon. All Natural. Color added”. Hhhmm… Why in the hell would you add “color” to fish?! You don’t add preservatives to keep it fresh; you don’t even freeze it to keep it fresh; but people are worried it’s not pink (or orange) enough?!? There are some folks out there in marketing that are terribly confused, I think. I just cannot imagine this: you send out a survey, with this question: “What is the main reason you didn’t buy Atlantic Salmon at Harris Teeter in the past 6 months: a)freshness; b)price; c)not interested in that fish; d) the salmon is not pink enough” – and a bazillion Americans check d). I just cannot see that!

I apologize in advance to my very good friend whom I love dearly and who’s been giving me crap about me making fun of fat people. Because I know I am going to piss her off. But sometimes I just cannot help it and … I MUST say this! It kills me!
I know there are folks out there who are large because of some medical condition, and I am definitely never talking about those. But it’s the folks who have no common sense and no measure of what they eat that I refer to in my pet-peeves. There should be no excuses for folks who come to class with a McHeartAttack for breakfast and a supersized milkshake, AND have TWO (not one) enormous chocolate brownies (they eat them with a fork, like it’s a freakin’ cake) for snacks during the day as to why they’re large; that’s on top of lunch, of course. And yep, you guessed it: in a class of 10, they’re the only one taking the elevator for a one story building. Now, that’s lazy-fat to me, not medical-fat.
Also, till today, I never thought you COULD get “to go boxes” at a buffet. It’s an “all you can eat Chinese buffet”. And the woman (again in the 300+ range) has been eating for about 30 minutes, plateful after plateful, and after that … she asks for a “to go box” and fills it up with food. No, not just one spring roll. It’s another … plateful of fried rice and sesame chicken. Again: that’s your fault for being 300+ lbs, don’t even try to squeeze into my plane seat next time, or else!

I noticed while in a public restroom today, that the doors of the stall (at least the logo I am referring to was just on the door, not the walls of the stall, too) was provided by this company called “Hiny Hiders”. After a quick chuckle and thinking: “Wow! That’s the best thing I have heard since ‘The Happy Can’ Porta-Jon company in Atlanta.” – and trying to figure out whether that’s creative or purely too graphic for my taste – I noticed that the logo featured a man using the bathroom: he was standing behind the door that’s provided by “Hiny Hiders”, facing the toilet, of course, in the tiny logo picture. I wondered what the company would be called if they featured a woman doing the same action?! Hhmmm …

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