The Dead Sheet

Somewhere in America ...

 

No, this is not a picture of “Huh! Look how fast I am driving!”. Nor one of “look how even much faster than me the huge a** petroleum carrier is driving down the Interstate”. What I want to capture in the picture is that white Chevy truck in front of me.

It’s carrying a large, probably queen size, mattress in its bed. The “problem” was not the mattress, per se. The problem was that this dude decided he would buy this mattress (steal it?!) with the sheet still attached to it. You know, the fitted queen size sheet that you strap over the corners before you lay on it!

So, before I took this picture (sorry, America, I was not ready for the live action shot!), the sheet was getting blown around, up and down, as this guy passed me at at least 90 mph! It finally got peeled off the mattress and landed on this PT Cruiser’s windshield, to the left of me. The guy broke in tire shrieking!

Now, I can’t even begin to tell you how many things I see wrong with this picture! First, who the heck buys a mattress WITH the old sheet still on it?! And then, I am driving 80 mph  in a Prius and I can hardly catch up to the man – he is doing at least 90 on an interstate, on a windy day, with an un-strapped load on his back . What do you think that’ll do to the mattress? Or the sheet, Cpt. Brains?!

You know what they say: guys like that are the reason why we put directions on shampoo bottles in this country! Seriously.

And on top of it (well, at some point): just … eewww!