Movie (Low) Expectations

Everyone that knows me well, knows that I have zero patience. For anything. A place where I test my patience the most is the movies. There, for a couple of hours, there is nothing much else to do, but watch the screen in the dark and hope not to fall asleep. That's one reason I always buy popcorn at the movies: keeps me busy. Somewhat. Movies are like time out for me! Feels like punishment, anyway.

So, it doesn't matter what I watch, if it's at the the theater, it'll be somewhat painful! In this predicament, it really pays off, though, to be pleasantly surprised. My favorite movie experiences, then, are when I go in with low, low, low expectations and I leave ... somewhat satisfied.

This was the case this rainy Sunday, when one of my best friends, B., suggested we'd see Taken. I told her I could see anything, because I wanted some girl time, and to get out on a sad, crappy weekend, but I could not see: gory, horror flicks, no make belief, or sci-fi BS, and no bam-bam-bang-bang boy type, a la Matrix movies, either. I suggested a chick flick. She came back with two choices: Benjamin Button, and Taken.

We both agreed that we'd rather wait for the first one on video, since it's 3 hours long - she doesn't have that time, I don't have that kind of patience; so that was an easy give-up. I was skeptical about Taken. Our friend, C., had reviewed it for us , and I know that typically C. and B. have similar movie tastes, so I figured at least one of us will be happy there! As far as what I would get out of it, though, I was dubious! After all, they made me watch Jackass 2 a couple of years back. I still have nightmares on that one! After reading his review, I thought to myself: "great, a bam-bam-bang-bang movie, when I said NO such thing. *sigh*".

BUT ... for the most part, I trust my friends. Well, except for Jackass, of course! I am probably one of the few Americans who don't read movie reviews! I don't, because I don't believe in waste of time. And most times, that's what they are, to me. I watch trailers, I don't read reviews. There is a difference. I have found movies with great reviews to be shallow, and lame, for my tastes, and the ones with poor reviews to be masterpieces, in my view. So, yes, like everything else, I am picky about my movies! And hard to please! Tell me a movie got an A, 5 stars, or 5o billion red tomatoes in whatever review you're reading, and following and that leaves me as cold as the 40 degree rain that we've had this weekend.

Anyway - I digress....

So, we go to see Taken. Because, like I said: I trust my friends. We're friends because similar tastes and standards brought us here. So ... I trusted C. And also, I trust Liam Neeson! I figured, he could not have signed a contract "that" bad, and the movie had to have something going for it.
And it did.

Yes, it was a "boy movie". Guns, and violence, lot of shooting, and lots of blow ups, and car chases, the works! But I liked it. For three reasons: one: it had a (real) story; the European trafficking of women (and children) is a theme close to home, and my heart! It's not some make-belief crap!

Two: all the violence, and chase scenes, were believable. The way they got around, they found information, they chased each other, they killed each other, required nothing more than current technology and manpower. It didn't require computers and "Dick Tracy watches" (thanks, B.!). I absolutely hate movies where you need 30th century technology to solve a mystery, but the whole time, they look as real as the next day! Sure, it's nice to dream! But ... since I like real stories, that's not something I enjoy. This was ... current. Relate-able stuff!

And three: it had Liam Neeson in it. And even in a second-hand rated movie, as my brother in law called it, he delivers! I have followed him since he was a nobody (in a British TV series, I watched in Romania when I was very young) till when he gave us Oskar Schindler, in Spielberg's masterpiece. He delivers, I think, and although he can play a decent range, he keeps being the same ol' Irishman, I expect in him: brief and mindful speech, hot temper, respectful if you respect him, kinda-guy.

Sure, the movie failed to explain to me how he never got punished for all the mess he did create in Paris. But hey, even I know movies (for the most part) are fiction. So, I am happily writing those explanations off to ... it being a movie, after all! And as we all know: these things happen in movies.

Like my friend, C., said: don't expect Taken to get any Oscars, but it's a good break from the routine, if you're looking for a getaway!

PS: the writing was not even half as lame as my most recent viewing of New In Town, either.

Girlfriends

By complete chance, I was witness to this conversation, while on my hike last weekend. It’s not in the least made up. Two strangers, I’ll call them Kathy and Cindy, about 35’ish year old, both accountants, approached me on the trail, sort of out of pity, because I was hiking alone. And after the usual politeness, of what your name is, what you do for a living, they just went off on their own rants, and I was a mere spectator of it all.

There they go:

Kathy: “That tree is totally twisted. It cannot make up its mind which way to go. See, how it grew toward the valley, and now it’s growing towards the hill? It must be a woman, not knowing what it wants!”

Cindy: “What do you mean?”

Kathy: “You know: that’s what men tell us, that we’re moody and we never can make up our minds.”

Cindy: “Well, I can tell you that men are just plain stupid. That’s what I can surely tell you. They are the ones who don’t know jack sh^t about what they want. They want us for the sex, up and down, all day and all night long, but then, when we want them for the emotions, they say that’s too complicated, and they get out. That’s what they do! They’re idiots! What is there so complicated about emotions? Is it rock science?! No, it isn’t! It’s just plain talk! I wanna tell you how I feel about you, and how I need you, and you’re going to turn the football game up and ignore me, and if I push, you walk away because that’s too complicated! That’s a bunch of bull crap!”

Kathy: “I hear ya, and that’s why we’re on this hike today: because we’re fed up with them! Both mine and hers are idiots. So, we wanted to get away and not put up with their sh^t today.”

Cindy: “You don’t even know where to meet them no more. You meet them at a bar, you meet them online, at the office, through your friends, they all suck! None of them wants the real thing anymore. Everything is too damn complicated to all of them. Now, Kathy here, she’s a true online dater perfectional. She surely is. She’s been on everything and she’s been doing this for years. And she’s still not finding anything. But one thing I know for sure: as much as my now boyfriend made me mad this week, I’m back on Plentyoffish(.com). I surely am! I’m back at it!”

Kathy: “Well, the one I have now, I met on Great Expectations. And usually I met some good people there, but this one’s a dead beat! See, I am looking for something long term, but he don’t want anything like that. He just wants something now. I just don’t know why you’d pay all that money for it, and just want sex for it. What is wrong with you?! “

Me: “How much are you paying for Great Expectations?”

Kathy: “Well, they want to sell you for years at a time, and it’s like $2000 for a year, or $3000 for two, but I talked them into a $600 for 6 months deal”.

Me, dubious: “600 DOLLARS? For a dating site?!”

Kathy: “Well, yeah, but you don’t get all the junk that’s on MySpace there. Or the goobers on PlentyOfFish. I really met some interesting folks. Although, I’ll have to say, there are some stupid folk on it, too”.

Cindy: “They’re all stupid, girl! All of them!”

Kathy: “Well, I did meet this one guy, he was from DC. And we talked online, and I was tired of all that typing, so I asked for his number, and he gave it to me, and we talked for months. Then, one day, he told me he’d come down to see me, because he was feeling like we were falling in love, bla-bla-bla (she’s rolling her eyes in disgust). And he bought a plane ticket to North Carolina to see me. I was really shocked. So, then he came to my house, and then, he told me he had bought the plane ticket for this other girl, that lived in Charlotte, but then she backed out on him at the last minute, but he still had the ticket, and had to use it, so he came to see me instead.”

(Cindy and I are about to faint laughing)

Kathy:” I am telling you, Cindy’s right: they don’t know jack sh^t of what the hell they want. One minute, you’re in love with me, and one minute I am your back up plan?! I even tried to kiss him, just for testing, but he couldn’t kiss worth a damn either, so he slept on the couch and I never saw him again. Nor talked to him”.

She shrugs. And I shrug now, too, nodding my head in disbelief, and deep thinking. And I thought I was the only one having dating nightmares.

It turned out I was not alone on that hike, after all. On that hike, or otherwise…

The Beach

“A friend will bail you out of jail … a redneck friend will be sitting next to you saying: ‘Dang, that was fun!’”.

I wish sometimes I were a beach gal. No, I really do! This blog would meet the expectations of beach going folks everywhere then! So, I really wish I got a kick out of going to the beach, and the salty air, and the crispy skin in the summer, and the shell-shaped necklaces and the flop-flops, and the funky, flimsy tanks showing your nipples, and the big tall drinks with the cute umbrellas in them, and the cups you get to keep, and all that sand coming off in the shower, and the pools and the hot tubs, oh, joy! … But I have wiry hair that hates the sun and the humidity and the salt in the air. And fair skin that never, but I mean never tans, but always burns! And I am a beer chick. I cannot swim, either. And let’s not talk about the nipples! I am shy, too! So, the beach does nothing for me!

I do want to live within weekend driving distance from the ocean, though, because occasionally, I like to visit it, even for just a change of scenery. The ocean, also, helps me think! When I see that whole world, hidden under waters, as well as seeing the waves coming and going, all that passing, renewing … just like the tides of life – that puts things into perspective, and into motion for me. So, I like to visit.

This spring’s beach trip was not just helpful for my life perspective. But also intrinsic to fill up my dry girlie well. Let me explain!

This trip was all about being with the girls and being a girl. No boys to worry about. Plenty of room to drink beer, feel bloated, burp and do it all over again … Plenty of time to shop till I dropped (you all know I am an anti-shopping crank year-round) and not worry about the bottom line. Everyone else was doing it, so why should I worry?!?

And who cares if you’re too drunk or tired to put on your lipstick or mascara, or whatever, we’re all friends: we’ll tell you it looks like crap, we’ll even take pictures to prove it and then help you put it on right!

Plenty of opportunities to gossip till we feel like we just ran out of victims in the whole wide world! And boy were we mean: from people we couldn’t stand, to people who we felt sorry for! We were ruthless. And plenty, oh, plenty of opportunities to see how fortunate and loved I truly am to have such friends to do it with! Sometimes it’s just good to kick back and just speak out loud about people you withhold about all day long, because of darn political correctness!

Yeah, they told me I am a “damn Aries” who can’t keep her mouth shut most times, and they made fun of my hatred for sweets (what girl hates chocolate, right??), and they told me that I like dull people, otherwise I can’t fall in love, and that my hair might look like a “skunk” in a couple of months, when my gray streaks will really be huge enough to tell … and one day they even told me I looked bloated! Burp!!!

And I felt free to tell them back: that they are fashion Nazi’s, that they are judgmental and gossipy, that they are geeks, that they snore and I am happy we’re not sharing rooms! It was all in good fun and good laughter (I hope!!).

It was such a great, rejuvenating weekend of just being silly and “worrying about” silly things. When would I ever have time to shop around the gift shops in Greensboro and just browse and laugh at goofy signs, like “Feng-Shui is Chinese for moving your husband’s crap in the garage”, or “After my last relationship I fell in love with food, and now I can’t get in my own pants!” ?! I tell you: I do not know of many great guys out there who would have gotten this and laughed with me as hard as the girls did!

And then, of course, we talked about “girlie” stuff, which is not to be mentioned here, but it’s to be imagined, I am assuming, by … imaginative minds.

We people watched, and gossiped, just like only girls know how to, pointing out the gorgeous “bimbo” and the old man couple at the raw fish bar who were looking pretty out of place, kinky and drunk, or the crazy men on the pier who were trying to hit on us with lame lines which must have died probably 50 years ago, not that they seemed to have caught up on that; we met new people, for some, like the pier guy, a happy and drunk ol’ man, who had a story for every day he’s spent there, whose tales were as colorful as the drinks he was having mixed for himself at 10 AM every morning. Aww, all good times! Never to forget!

And guys, seriously: do you really not know when your hairy butt crack is hanging out smiling at the sky from under your pants?! Or you do, but you really think that’s sexy? I tell you: it’s NOT! It’s funny, yeah, but not sexy! I wondered if our ancestors who actually fished to survive impressed their lasses with a free viewing of their buttocks?! Wonder if by evolution, we, girls of today, just lost the meaning of it all?!? Hhmmm…

Thank God for friends who think that’s as funny as I do, and even snapped a shot of that awkward view! And even as a non-ocean chick, ladies, I am up for another round the next time we all get a chance! Thanks all for coming and building the memories!

Enjoy some pictures here.