Thursday, September 21, 2006

Random thoughts

"… by the absence of grasping, one becomes free." (The Buddha)

I feel old in the fall. The red of the trees, at the tops, makes me think of newly graying temples. Just a hint of oldness, the premonition of what it is to come. Of death.
Do you feel your joints crack in the mornings now, from the cold air? I do. They’re rusty, in the crisp mornings. Like an un-oiled old gate in the wind.
Have you ever felt like coming home, and turning the lights down or off, and lighting candles all over the house instead? Playing soft music, and living by candle light? Like in a cave? Or a temple? Just to revive the past, the old days? Sometimes electricity is such a pain. Literally!
Today, I felt in a “Christmas” mood: I wanted all Christmas- scented candles around me: pine tree, and cinnamon and apple pie, and snow! And I am wearing a beach dress. What’s Christmas like at the Tropics? I have felt wintry today. Just like the aging trees.
Have you ever felt like there is “no way to hold your head that doesn’t hurt”? I understand Johnny Cash perfectly!
I always wonder about those folks that sit at the light, despite the fact that the green light prompts them to go. What are they waiting for? What are they deciding now? Are they confused? “Hm… Too many choices: I can go right, OR left, OR, maybe, straight. Too many choices!” – they must say to themselves. Just like at the grocery store in the cereal aisle!
Have you ever wanted to bottle up the feeling in your entire body, down your spine and in your legs after a great yoga practice?! Just to drink from it later, once in a while, maybe at the office, one day, when you feel overwhelmed and suicidal!
Have you ever missed your mom so much on her birthday that it hurt? It hurts in the heart! Inside, deep, deep, inside the hearrt! I can’t even reach in there to calm it! Have you? …

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