Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Only Cover I’ll Ever Be On

So, The Diaper Club Journals continue…

In less than 48 hours, I will see my new nephew. Finally. He’s been born almost 3 months ago , and since then I have been holding my heart in my hand, trying not to let it escape and fly on its own to Canada …

It’s amazing what a little bundle of life, scream-age and whims can make you do! Silly things, like talk to the computer screen in the night, and buy things you’ve never thought of buying, like 14 kinds of receiving blankets, because you’re not sure which one he’d like the best, or 30 onsies, because you’re not sure which one his momma’s gonna like, or 50 pairs of socks, because surely, he needs that many … and so forth…

And I don’t even know him yet! When I do get to hold him, and worse yet, when he’s going to talk to me and tell me what he likes, wishes, wants, it will probably be time for a second job to entertain his wish list . Anything for Patrick! That’s for sure … Just half kidding on the second job, though.

This weekend, we’ll both share another milestone: I’ll get to make him a Christian. I know that doesn’t mean much for the non-believers out there, but to me, whom I have been close to God all my life, and whom I owe everything I am today to Him it means that this is the biggest gift I get to ever give him! Or at least that I think I am ever able to give him!

No matter how many pairs of socks and how many gadgets he’ll get from me in a lifetime, no matter how many trips I’ll take him on, with his mom’s and dad’s approval, of course, no matter how many books I’ll read to him, or how many scratches and scrapes I’ll get to tend to, I could never, ever make him a better, more profound and everlasting gift than introducing him to God.

I am so excited, I am about to have a heart attack.

I have been a Godmother before, about 11 years ago (that shows my age), but I shared that duty with 3 other people. But this time, I am alone, in front of the priest, and God. And he’s my first nephew, and the first born in my family, and I feel like the whole weight of the world is resting on me. I just hope I am worthy of the job!

My favorite teacher emailed me the other day and she asked what I think am I going to feel when I’ll hold him, in church, naked, in front of God. My first nephew. The only son of my only sister?! I was paralyzed with emotion. It’s a daunting job, and like I said: I hope and pray I am up for it …

I love him already, that much I know. And I am proud and moved that I was given this “job”, and I was chosen to lead him this way. I will pray for him, till he’ll be able to pray himself; I will pray with him, when he’ll be able to pray on his own. And I hope he will pray for me, when I will be gone and not able to pray for myself. And in the meantime, I’ll try to show him life, and happiness, the only way I know how: in freedom, and with love. I will teach him honesty, and strength, and how he has everything in his own self, he just needs to be quiet enough to listen and find it out. And that is a promise and a commitment. I will teach him about life, and its beauty, and about God, and how graceful and giving He is, although sometimes, through hidden ways.

Of course, he’ll always have his parents. But I am proud to share the “job” with them.

Surely, they will give him not only the inherent gift of genetics, and day-to-day upbringing, and they are plenty gifted there, not only will they give him unlimited love, and care; but I am happy they chose me to give him some gifts of the soul, too. And some of the mind, too – I hope.

I am also honored to share the “cover” with them, in the birth and baptism announcement they put together … And I will wear that cover (can I say that??) proud. After all, it might be the only one I’ll ever be on.

I took my name out of this picture, but as you can imagine, it was under the “Godmother” portion. I am just not sure why it says “tell all”. I am not telling anyone anything. I will just be numb with emotion, and too much love and awe …

For more Patrick pics, click here:


And wish me luck ...

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