From Innocence to Now ...

My dear boy, 

I still remember the blog I wrote the day you were born, the day I became an aunt (https://wander-world.blogspot.com/2008/04/from-heart.html). I wrote it almost in one breath, that very day. I did not prepare for it, I did not dream about what I would write, I just did it. All my love, and awe, and wonder, and gratitude, and fears, they just came right out and poured onto the page. You were an empty page, but so full of possibilities. 

In contrast, I have been thinking long and hard about what I would say for your 18th (holy cow!) birthday - whether to you, or in a blog, or journal entry. Now, 18 years later, you are so far from the blank page you started on. You are becoming quite an accomplished little story. 

Some of the things I want to say are the usual, retrospective things, like the obvious: you have grown much, accomplished much, matured, changed, and found yourself in the process, through kicking, screaming, good times, and bad. You know the story. 

It is truly a daunting realization that you have pretty much grown up on this blog. From the moment you were born till now, you have been documented religiously somewhere on the internet, including here. It’s amazing to see how something as novel (to me, at the time I started writing here) as a blog has now lasted more than you’ve been alive. 

We each have and are a unique story. Just like the river carves its own way from the mountain to the ocean, you have carved your own singular path. Sometimes despite our wishes, sometimes in total outbursts of surprises on your part, sometimes totally guided by those around you, but always in your own original way, you have been able to find yourself and mold yourself into the young man you are today. 

Because this is such a milestone, the beginning of your adulthood, in fact, I have also been wondering how we are leaving this world to you. I’ll be honest, when I first look at the world we’re leaving behind for you, I find that we’ve let you down, in too many ways to count.

With a maturity beyond your years, you pointed that very thing out to us a year or so ago: we have left you a mess, at first glance, indeed, as you said.  Wars, and crooked politicians in every realm and in virtually every country, desperation about job cuts and losses, the need for education not a very well-argued asset (when the world seems to be measured in money, and  most rich people of the world are college drop-outs, what can you learn from that?!), a dirtier, more unsafe planet than what we found when we were your age, and so much more decrepitude ... 

But as you’ll find out on your own: where there is bad, there is also plenty of good. Our generation, I think, also did leave behind plenty of good too, things that I hope your generation will build upon, perfect and increase in value. 

We left you the most technological advancements ever produced in 50 years’ time, in the history of humanity; because of this technology, you can now learn things faster, travel faster, buy what you want faster, see your impact to anything you contribute to faster, and so on. 

We’ve left you the ability to express yourself for who you are; when we were growing up, we were not allowed to be who we were, we were censured and punished for our thoughts - you, luckily, know nothing of that. Identity awareness is something our generation fought hard for and you, I think, benefit from it largely - never take that for granted. Identity awareness and recognition is by no means done, either, but I believe it’s here to stay now, if your generation makes sure of that. 

Despite all the talk of divisiveness due to social media which was also ours to claim, we’ve left you a more connected world than ever - globalization (not necessarily a bad word) shows that no single action remains where it started and it now reverberates across the world. As you find yourself in the middle of an international family, you understand this better than anyone: we’re all connected, across the meridians and every action we take has effects everywhere in the world. This awareness has become common knowledge during my lifetime and we leave it with you to build only good things on it. 

We left you with many examples of entrepreneurship that allow you to dream and use the best of your skills to truly accomplish anything. You’re limited only by your imagination, and that, in your case, is limitless. Our generation busted the limitations of a degree and of traditional careers to encourage every person to succeed and survive from any business they dream up. We have been disruptors, in larger numbers than any time perhaps in history, and for what that’s worth this allows you to always think outside the patterns. 

Maybe we didn’t finish what we started in any of these areas. But the seeds of good potential are there. 

So, as much as I apologize for the mess we’re leaving, I am also hoping that the much good that we have also done is workable, and you can add to it and make it better. Make it perfect. I trust that you will at least try. 

As a family, we have given you everything - love, support, understanding, freedom to be who you are, and a healthy dose of cynicism which we hope prepares you for a prickly world out there. We hope. We tried to encourage more than scold, love more than accuse, and advise more than order you around. We showed you by example where your roots are and how you ended up who you are, but we were careful not to clip your wings, for they alone will carry you forward in the path you alone will choose. We hope we did good by you and that you find balance between all that we all contributed with and what you want. 

I am also remembering on this special day how hard it has been for you to find yourself and be the amazing human you are today despite all the odds thrown at you during your lifetime. You were the generation of the pandemic, and there were no rules on how to go through your most formative years (preteens and teens) without being with your friends, in person, for years. We, as your adult family, had no map for how to navigate that.

You were the generation of political fights, where lifetime friends and partners became bitter enemies and opponents, including the countries in which we both reside. You were the generation mind-driven by algorithms and bad actors. Again, we had no instructional manual for how to protect you from that. But you adapted and figured it out. If anything, we learned through you and from you how to navigate this new world. 

For you to figure out on your own how to build yourself through all this, is remarkable. You’re a hustler and a doer. You never accept “can’t” or “won’t” and you figure things out - and that is all you. You’re a disruptor in your own right - nevermind us trying to hold you to a pattern, you follow your instincts and despite all our denials or doubts you prove us that an alternative approach is not always bad ... We’ve learned from you as much as you’ve learned from us. 

I hope you feel the fire under your feet and you feel emboldened by what’s to come. Just know that today you not only get to be fully you, but today the world is ready to look at you as an important contributor to tomorrow - not quite an adult, but no longer a child either. The world will start listening. The voice you have been building is ready to be heard. 

Empathy is one of your true secret powers. I have seen through these years what a difference you’ve made in other people’s lives. You taught all of us what resilience and ambition mean. You have the biggest heart I know - the way you cared during your most difficult years for a dying friend brought me to my knees! How you somehow, from somewhere found the strength to be there for him, holding his hand, I do not know. 

The affection you so generously give to everyone around you is infectious: the glorious hugs and kisses you share freely with all of us, taking your mom out for meals and being her sidekick in making art or running, your generosity and big-heartedness is incredible and all natural, unforced, and untrained. 

The world is ready for you and your many gifts, and I hope you continue, as you gently let go of your childhood years, just like a new swimmer gently lets go of the side of the pool and starts floating on their own, to make bigger and bigger waves and build the life we all want for you, the life that I always wanted for you, starting on that fateful April morning when you were born, 18 years ago today. 

Just like on that first day, I am now hopeful, happy, excited, and waiting with baited breath on what you have in store for us. The future is yours to make! 

Happy birthday, sweet boy! And never forget: you will forever be my sweet boy. No amount of years will change that! I love you from the bottom of my heart, and beyond. 

Be well! Be safe! Be you! 

Sweet 16

I just finished reading the blog post I wrote the day you were born (https://wander-world.blogspot.com/2008/04/from-heart.html). And this reminds me: you are part of this generation that lived your entire life on the internet. Between blogs and Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat - your life has been thoroughly documented somewhere ... 

There is not much more to say that has not been shown or said, is there?! Only you make sure that there is ... You are a growing boy - a boy? Not anymore. But not quite a man yet, to paraphrase a famous song. A growing boy (to me, you’ll always be a boy) with endless resources to grow, surprise, learn, shock, inform, and remind us that there is no boring minute when you’re watching a child come of age. So, there is so much more to say, still! 

Today, you are reaching a milestone. There was one year, and then three, and then five, and then seven, and ten. And now, it’s 16. It’s that sweet but also bitter time when you want to hang on to your innocence but life and people have other plans for you. You had small bites of real life so far, but they were more or less spent under the watchful eyes of your parents and family. From now on, you will need to figure out how to look for life opportunities and show us what you’ve learned. Will you remember everything we taught you? Will you know when to apply all the teachings we’ve all imparted so you can make better choices than we ever made?!  Time will have to tell and we’re waiting with baited breath for you to show us ... 

I hope that you’ll never lose your sense of humor, fun and partly your innocence, but that you’ll be able to also make really good and everlasting choices starting today. I hope that you will slowly but surely come into your own mature self - into a good, serious, reliable, and more than anything kind human being. I truly hope so ... I truly wish you so ... 

On this celebratory day, I am grateful for every minute I have ever spent in the past 16 years thinking and praying for you, and for every minute we spent together ... We never know what will come, but I always cherish what we already have: 

My wedding day ...

Watching you learn woodworking and teaching you knitting ....

Watching you cook  your first breakfast... 

Making your own art ... (I wish you’d remember your talent!) ... 

Writing your first computer game ... (yeah, whatever happened to that?!) ... 

Crossing Lake Ontario to Toronto Island together in search of peace ...

Touring Casa Loma ... 

Taking you to your first dip into the Atlantic Ocean when we were barely a year old ... 

You introducing me to beaver tails (you created a monster!) ... 

I’ll always have these memories, and more: taking you to your first baseball game, musical, and your first spinning restaurant. And not to forget: watching our first ever total solar eclipse together - surely a first and who knows - maybe the only one. 

You might never be a little boy with Spiderman facepaint in the middle of summer ever again - but I hope we will always continue to build memories together, small treasures of boxed time that we can cherish forever ... 

I wish you all the happiness in the world, but more than that - I wish you wisdom and kindness! With them, happiness will come. 

Happy birthday, sweet Pat! Enjoy your day and may the new year ahead be the best one yet! Here’s to strong, peaceful, happy beginnings! 

Much love ... 

I treasure every face, I remember every year, looking forward for more milestones to come ...

A Teenager. A Funny Guy. In His Own Words.

Because this world is a dark place and because we all need a smile, here are just some of the musings you have entertained us with in the past year: 

Kevin: Do we have to have dinner with this person at the table?

His mom: So what if she were to have dinner with us at the table? She is just people. Just like you! 

Kevin: Yeah, but I hate people! 

*

Kevin (looking at the picture of a friend’s new baby): I don’t want to be a babyist, but he looks just like any other baby.

His mom:: What is a ‘babyist’?

Kevin: It’s someone who is generalizing that all babies look alike.

*

Kevin, on trying Chick-fil-A for the first time, as he is eating his sandwich and fries: Chick-fil-A makes McDonalds look like a soup kitchen … Anyone have more fries?

*

Kevin: I am gonna marry someone from the Chick-fil-a family and become its CEO. And then, I'll commence the world-wide colonization of Chick-fil-a so every country will have it. (he pauses for dramatic effect). Yes, I am not gonna START it. I am gonna COMMENCE it! This is how you know it's for real!

*

Kevin to me, when he came to visit me: Coming to see you is not a chore. It’s a gift. 

*

Me: I am already fat. 

Kevin: Oh, my God! You and my mom are the most delusional people in the world! You are both already skinny! (such a sweet nephew, ain’t he?!)

*

Kevin (insisting that the family should keep the tradition of decorating cookies for Christmas): We are never too old for Christmas. 

*

Around the holidays, when it was raining in Montreal, he says:  What’s with all this rain?! It’s supposed to snow in December. I feel scammed by Canada.

Happy birthday, funny little man! You’re an official teenager now (God help us), but always a little man to me! 

Hope you’re having a fun day and, even better, a fun ride for the next 6 or so years of teenage-hood! It’ll be a wild ride, I am sure.  

Love your life! We love you! 

You Have Arrived!

 

I know I always start with this question: “where have the years gone?” or “when did this happen?” so I will switch it up this time. I’ll just say: you’re here, on the 15th year of your life! You have arrived.  And, I am sorry to say - I know it’s painful and depressing and what not (or knowing you, probably not) - but you’re no baby anymore. Welcome to young adulthood, son! The fact that you are a tax-paying, potential union-enrolling workforce member should tell you that childhood is in the rearview mirror. 

And oh, I am so happy for you! I feel like in some ways we have all been waiting for this day since the minute you were born, on your terms only, 2 months before your time 15 years ago today, when you could not even breathe on your own... I have been wondering and dreaming about what purpose you might have been put on this planet for. And now, that day is near: we’re gonna find out. I hope soon!

I hope your natural-born curiosity, your immense empathy, your love of family among other things will guide you to great things, sweet boy, and will only put you in the best places to make the most of. 

As any teenager, of course, you are playing the part: confused, klutzy, lost at times, eyes wide-open with clever and not so clever ideas, full of energy and drive, almost to a fault, with seemingly no direction at all, you plough right on through ... You try out every thing that comes to your mind (just like you did as a small child when you were learning how to knit and do woodworking right alongside learning how to build stuff from legos and how to play Minecraft several years before your time). And yet, there is  a grace and a kindness about you that warms my soul and wants me to always draw you near ... 

Sometimes I think you’re like a garden: beautiful and loaded with richly-growing, blooming vines, with breathless smells and vibrant colors; but also full of weeds. I want to compulsively reach in and pluck all the weeds out, so I can let all the flowers shine free. And then I stop myself and think: those are not mine to pluck! Those are yours to groom or let die; yours to decide how to use them; yours to turn into lessons or let overgrow and eat all the beauty out. But yours. Your decision only. 

Hopefully, with guardrails and “training wires” all around you from all of us, you will find the right path to grow into. Or maybe not. But you will have to do you, and do it on your terms just like you did your birth in your own terms, too. You will be either a worse version than we all ever dreamed for you to be, or much, much better yet than our wildest imagination. 

Spring forward, sweet child! Shoot to the stars and be daring! I know somewhere in there there are good bones ... you just need to fill them with good dreams and put them up to good deeds, too ...

Do you remember my bracelet: find your purpose, my dear boy! The world is your oyster. Make yourself count for it all! 

Love you mostest still and forever ...

Happiest of birthdays and I wish you the best wishes you can ever wish for yourself! 

Small Guy. Big Personality.

Yeah, you are “the Small Guy” because in my eyes, at least for another year or two, you are still “small” in every way. You are not as small as a year ago, or even as yesterday, sure, but in the general scheme of things you are small. And "perfect in every way", as you would say about polar bears. Or cats. Or owls.  

When people ask me to describe you, I just sigh a deep sigh. How can I fit such a huge (physically small) personality into just a few words? There are no words ... 

I say things like: Kevin is amazingly ... his own person. He is 12 going on 50! Before anything, he is wise beyond his years, self-possessed and he has a deep sense of who he is and where his life is going. Before anything, it takes loads of effort to impress him. Even at 12, he will tell you in no ambiguous terms how lame you are, or how sexist, or blind you are at the diversity of the world around you. How careless and messy you are when you can’t pick up after yourself. 

He’ll tell you how much you still have to learn about the world around you. He will scold you like you’re the child and he’s the grown-up. He is cool and collected as well as passionate and irate. He frowns upon your every lame move and breaks into song and cheer completely unprompted and unannounced. He is not one thing or another. He is never one-note and boring. He is a constant wonder and a constant guess ... 

He knows what he likes (books, animals, food, comfort, among too many other things to enumerate), he knows what he is about (serious, punctual, reliable, hard working, more responsible than the adults around him sometimes), and he also knows what he’s not about and what he hates (being told what to do, waking up too early in the morning, boiled broccoli, people talking too much around him when all he wants is quiet time). 

And that, dear Kev, is where you lose me: I wonder whether our blood is truly flowing through your  little veins when you complain about people talking too much around you. But it must be, because you’re the spitting image of your grandfather, so I know better. 

I also tell people about your incredible talent to carry on interesting conversations about anything, your amazing knowledge about animals, plants, anything that lives. Your interest in understanding the living world around you, your maturity, about your being kind and caring and protecting towards our planet and our environment ... 

Discovering you every year, seeing you grow and explore the world, watching you sift through everything that the world throws at you and choosing what it makes sense to you, choosing what gives you pleasure, what grounds you, what makes you whole is a privilege I will be forever grateful for. I love all your discoveries, from your new axolotl pet, to the fact that you love coffee so much (you’re definitely in the right family there!), to the fact that you read more than I ever do and that you can carry on a conversation with the vocabulary of a college student already. 

Just like you noticed a couple of months back, the past year “tried you” with all sorts of bad happenings. I wish you a much, much better year ahead, full of happiness, joy, and overflowing with beauty, kindness and every good wish you have for yourself. And never forget your strength!

When I am at my saddest, I will always remember Christmas morning at my house last year: when you slipped on your PJ’s and your flannel robe, you poured your coffee and made a half-serious and stern face, half-goofball and joker (just like your grandpa) and demanded a picture by the tree, saying something like: “Let’s get into my robe and take a picture looking like a retired old dad.” 

Thank you for giving me a front-row seat at this wonderful journey you call your life. I know it will never be boring ... Love you, sweet Kevs! 

December 2022: My small "retired old dad"

Dear Pat ...

Dear Pat, 

You are officially an online baby now! Your birth, 14 years ago today, was announced on my blog (https://wander-world.blogspot.com/2008/04/from-heart.html) and every year since then I have posted a blog, a picture, a ... some sort of an entry about your existence. You better behave: there will be a record for it somewhere and you might not get elected to Prime Minister. 

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday, really. I was waiting for a phone call any minute to hear that you made it into this crazy world. Your dad called and congratulated me for being an aunt. I was speechless. With joy, emotion, and an infinite love that split my heart right open and inundated my whole body with this warm, safe, comfortable feeling of happiness. I was an aunt, but you ... ?! You were here! You were real! You were no longer your mommy’s plan, nor in her tummy anymore. You were here, (almost) two months earlier than expected and you were going to get this life thing started, no matter what. 

Over the years, I have always looked to keep that light, that joy, that unbridled happiness in my heart every time I see and think of you. Every time I hear about some new accomplishment you have made, some new adventure you embarked on, I look to associate you and your endeavor with the light and the happiness you brought into this world. Not only for me and your entire family, but for the world itself. I knew on your first day that you have so much promise packed in that tiny, premature body of yours. Your fight to breathe, to grow, to mature was fearless - I look for that in every day of your life. I wish nothing more in this world than for you to be aware of the amazing being that you have brought into this world - to see this as clear as we see it, too. 

You have given us all those things over the years and so much more. 

Through the challenges of growing up, maturing, fitting in, finding your own voice (literally and figuratively) you have remained that pure, innocent, good baby that you were on your first day on this planet. You have stayed curious and interested. Engaged and energetic. More than anything, you have stayed empathetic and caring to everyone around you. 

I have loved watching you grow into an almost young adult now (back when I was your age, I got my first legal ID in Romania - I was an “official” member of society). Just like you came into this world early, by your own schedule, you move through the world at the rhythm of your own drum. Your originality and your “system” makes sense to you and although we may not always agree with it, we can see that in the end you surely know what you’re doing ... Most times. 

I am always looking forward to your next adventure, to your next project. Will it be another game meant for kids older than your age that you crack in no time flat? Or will it be a new recipe you want to try? Or will it be a new art project (a sculpture or a painting or a drawing or something you build from nothing) that you’ll ace and maybe sell for cash? Will it be a new podcast or a new improv play? I never know, but I know it’ll be done well and from your heart and I know I will love it. 

On your birthday, I wish you these:

• Always make the world matter. Make your presence in this world matter. Whether you will be the Prime Minister or a second-grade teacher, a stock broker or a clown - whatever it is - be amazing, be excellent, be the best that you can be. God put you on this planet for a reason - once you find that reason, make the best and the most of it. It's the only way!
• Don’t ever lose your ingenuity and sense of wonder ...
• Don’t ever lose your sense of self. There is no one like you in the whole world and I have seen a lot in my “old age” (as your brother tells me) and you are pretty darn cool. As long as you do you, you’ll always come ahead. I promise you! 
• Don’t ever lose your curiosity and your desire to learn new things. There is so much to learn and you won’t have time in a whole lifetime to learn it all - use this time wisely and know as much as possible. 
• Don’t ever stop putting yourself in others’ shoes: think about how others feel and try to be there for them, especially when they are broken. You have done this so well and effortlessly as a child, don’t let adulthood put the doubt of bias in it and don’t shy away to help others. 
• Don’t ever, ever, ever stop having fun! Life is serious, stern, and at times gut-wrenching. Squeeze every minute of fun out of it that you can. You have been able to always light up a room and put a smile on people’s faces. Don’t ever lose that! 
• ... and lastly,  never stop sharing it all (your thoughts, your love, your compassion) with everyone around you. The world needs more of your thoughtfulness, your respect for the weak, and your kindness ... Always share that and life will return it to you ten-fold. 

Happy birthday, sweet child! I am not saying “young man” because you will forever be my sweet child ... no matter how old. 

Love you to eternity and further ... 

Your “cool” aunt. 

PS: also remember to feed Eevee and make your bed, too. ;-) 

Happy birthday! 

I am running out of space to add one picture for each year, but this year I still made it! 

He’s 11!

Oh, good Lord! You’re 11! 

I know you’re going to mock me as a cliché if I say “when did that happen?”, but seriously: when did that happen?! I guess when we were too busy getting old you were too busy sneaking around growing up. 

I remember like it was yesterday the first time I saw you. You were three months old and you were just lying on your day bed and your dad said you are already grown up and judging us. He said that the only things you could not do yet were to speak or walk. But you already knew everything, you already knew exactly how you felt about everything in the world and you could not wait for that one day when you’d finally be able to tell us. 

And, boy, was he right! You went from zero to 60 in less than 10 years, flat! You’re wiser than any kid I have ever met, smarter than most, more well-read and knowledgeable than you should have had time to be in 11 years ... 

On top of everything, you are the funniest human being I know, tied only, possibly, with your grandfather, my dad. 

Tonight, while looking through my “bag” of pictures to see how you’ve grown and while rummaging through my memories of you, I remembered all the times when you made us laugh or made us look inside ourselves and think a bit deeper ... All the times you cracked us up and all the times you wowed us with your “intelligence”, as you so astutely call it:

That time when we were in Toronto and you said I need to stop saying that I am fat and that I need to look around me to see  “people who look like balloons, and until I look like them, I am not fat ...”

That time when you told us that the American Niagara Falls are “a bit underwhelming, if you were to tell us the truth ...”

That time when you told us that “mamaliga” was evil and that you were afraid of it ... I guess something went crazy in your Romanian genetic code at some point to make you say that ... 

That time when you told us that the roseate spoonbills are pink because they feed on shrimp and crustaceans - way more than anyone else around you knew and way more than a 10 year old should know ...

That time when you told us that junk food is not a good thing, but it is, “however, delicious” ...

That time when you were wondering what Trump was doing, some time in 2021 and that you were sure he “was looking for a job, but no one was hiring ...”. That cracked you (and me) up! 

That time when you told your dad he “can never be a millionaire because he’s too old and already missed his opportunity ...”

I remember all the trips we ever took to see each other and all the visits we ever had - they were short glimpses of time, but they packed so much energy and love and gusto into each second. You made them count, sweet boy! 

When you came to visit me in The Rockies when you were just a year and a half old and chased the kitties around the house; or when you came to North Carolina and you dipped into the ocean for the first time in your life; or when we went to Mont Tremblant one summer during the one very rare hot day of the year in Canada and we went souvenir shopping and you got Windy - the stuffed elephant to add to your growing collection of ‘stuffed friends’; or when I visited you once and we went for a walk and you dropped your candy and said “it’s OK. I’ll leave it there for the ants.” 

And I can keep going. I am so lucky to have a front-row seat at this beautiful play that is your life. So lucky you are my nephew and so happy to love you and watch you grow, mature and turn into the beautiful person you’ll continue to become. 

You may be growing out of being a baby anymore, but in my eyes you’re always be a wide-eyed child, full of curiosity and ingenuity; full of life and surprises. I hope you never lose that, no matter how many years you add to your age. 

Thank you, sweet Kev, for sharing yourself so truthfully with all of us! You are a treat!  

Happiest of birthdays today, and love you to eternity and further beyond ... 

To My Nephew, on His 13th Birthday …

Dearest Pat,

I wanted to leave these thoughts for you on your 13^th birthday. Here are some things I have learned in my life since I was your age. Some things that helped me get where I am today and be who I am today.

13 is a big step, and I am sure you know this, as feverishly as you have been looking forward to your teen years. You’re entering a new chapter. You’re no longer a child, but not quite a man yet. But you’re about to learn how to be one, one day, and you’ll learn it fast. Of that I am sure.

Be yourself. Always. They say that everyone else is taken, and it’s true. Only you can do you - a person much smarter than me said. So, do it. Be genuine.

Always remember that God put you on this planet because He thought you have something special. Something that no one else had. So, always look for what makes you - you and share it with the world.

Live your dreams. If you can dream it – you can achieve it. If you ever doubt this, always remember me. I am living proof of this statement. There are ways to reach your most hidden thoughts. I never thought when I was 13, in a small, Communist country in Eastern Europe that I would one day live in the USA. own a house, have a job and speak another language fluently. I dreamed it. Then I took every opportunity I had to get me here. And I finally did it. Because I believed it was possible.

When an adult is trying to teach you something, or forbids you from doing something, I know that it’s very tempting to disregard them or disobey them. But I tell you this: they have been as old as you are.  You have not been as old as they are. So, trust that they have seen what you see and they teach you from first-hand experience. They only try to protect you.

I know you will need to have your own experiences and make your own choices – I promise you that you will have every opportunity to do that. But also, listen to the full picture from those older than you that have it. Take the advice, weigh it in and decide what you need to do to stay genuine to you – which is rule number one.

Then, if something doesn’t work out because you did it your way and you disregarded the advice, learn from it. Remember the warning we all gave you and think about it next time you make a choice. This will help you grow and learn. You will be stronger and smarter for it.

Believe in your roots. When you’ll feel lost and alone, they will help you feel less lonely. You are a mutt - between Romania, Canada, Germany, and the US - you are already born and raised on a multi-cultural background. This is a gift. Lots of people don't know where they come from. Your heritage is part of your life. Embrace that! Remember that mutts are the best - they are the most interesting and they live longest. You come from good people. They are strong, they are fighters, and they are smart. You have all that in you – always remember that, when you’re faced with any challenge. You can do it, because it’s in you.

Don’t forget your roots, but make your own branches. Don’t be afraid to move away from them, but always remember what they are – they will support you.

Above all else in the world, be kind. You already are the most thoughtful and empathetic 13 year old I know, but don’t forget to keep that as your most treasured possession, even when among other kids, the wish of being cool in front of others less fortunate is strong. Always remember that there is nothing cool in being thoughtless or rude towards others. On the contrary. Always remember that love and light always win.

Always remember that between darkness and light, light always wins. Be the light. Be the hope for others. Be the shoulder others need to cry on.

Always be curious. Never push away any experience because you will learn from every single one even if in the beginning it doesn’t seem cool. Remember when you were 8 and you came to visit me in Utah and you wanted to learn how to knit? Then, you went to the woodshop with Aa. and helped him make wooden toys for you and your brother? Stay that curious. Always. You will be wise beyond your years before it’s your time to be wise if you soak up every experience that comes your way. The world will only be yours faster and more fully when you’re ready for it.

Your uncle Aa. reminded me to also tell you: it’s not all about the money. Sure, money helps get you further. But don’t do it just for the money. Do it because you love it, because you can learn something just to learn it, because it helps you grow and become a fuller human being. Do it because you can and others need you to do it for them, although they have no money to give you in return.

I have met some pretty miserable people that are stinking rich in my life. And I also met the most happy people that had no running water or toilets in the house, and only two changes of clothes: one for work, during the week, and the other for going to church. But these people made it into their 80’s singing all day long and loving each other and their families, in other words: they grew older being happy. Every day. Money is not everything … There is so much more infinite happiness in hundreds of other things before money.

Share your grief. When things get hard, don’t be afraid to ask for help and ask for compassion from others. It’s not a sign of cowardice, it’s a sign of strength. To know you don’t know everything or to know that you hurt and ask for help – that’s a sign of strength and bravery.

Work hard for what you want. I have not seen much that is of value that has been achieved without hard and focused work. The world is yours to master. But first you need to learn the rules. You’re not born knowing the rules. None of us are. Take the time to learn them and learn them well. This will take work. The rest will come easy. But first, remember the work.

Keep a journal. I don’t care how small and I don’t care whether you even spell correctly in it (for now!). But keep a journal and write in it your observation of the world. Things that people do that drive you nuts, and things that people do that you admire. Read it once a year at the end of the year and realize how fast and how much you have grown. It will give you power and courage to go on and be even more next year.

Forgive your brother. Use every opportunity you have to teach him the good in you and share the knowledge you have. You will find one day that he’s your best friend, the only person in the world who knows you better than anyone else. The only person in the world who loves you totally and unconditionally. I know some days (now) this may sound impossible. Trust me: I am an older sister like you are an older brother and I have been there. These things I am telling you – I know them to be 100% true. When all of us, your grandparents, your parents, your uncles, and aunts, all the older teachers you have now will be gone, your brother will be the only one there, remembering it all with you. It’ll be such comfort to have him around. So learn to love him totally. Now.

Be graceful. When you lose, remember there is nothing in vain: learn from it, and move on. Bend when life wants to bend you, or otherwise you’ll break. Stay flexible and graceful. When the tough times are passed, always, always move on.

Be brave enough to know when you did something wrong and apologize for it. Again, this is no sign of weakness, but of strength and nobility. Be noble. Be gentle. Be respectful.

That brings me to my favorite lesson that I have learned from my own father: always be respectful. People might not remember that you were strong, or rich, or powerful, or talented, but they will always remember that you respected them. People will always remember how you made them feel. Make sure you always make them feel good and important. As we say in Romania: “always leave room for ‘hello’.”

We are not here, on Earth, to get stuck. We are here to thrive, to learn, to grow, to achieve, to conquer. Any loss is nothing but a lesson. Learn it, score it, and move on to the next one, just like you do in math. Or French. Or art …

Never, ever say "no" to travel. Travel opens doors and windows into worlds you can never imagine. Watch how other people live, taste their foods, love their humanity. Accept their differences and grow as you're doing it. If you have to learn just one thing from me, if I can leave you with just one piece of advice is this: travel as often as possible. And don't be choosy. A small village is just as exciting and full of life as New York City or Paris. Take it all in. 

Listen to nature. Love the simple things. The camping, the walks in the woods, listening to birds, the biking, the fishing, playing with your pets. When life gets complicated, later on, you’ll find that nature will relax and revitalize you, charge you back up with good energy. And nature is always free, buddy. Always free.

I hope some of these thoughts resonate with you now. If they don’t, promise yourself to come back to this list when you feel like you forgot it, or you miss me. I would love for you to revisit it from time to time and to know that I have written it for you to find support and love, and trust that you are great and you will be even greater. Of this I am also sure.  

I love you with all my heart. I always have and always will. Never doubt that. I am a “text” away and always, always, and forever here for you.

Have a good celebration of your already amazing existence of 13 years.

Much love,

me …