12 Years in Love

I can remember that first call like it was yesterday. Your dad called around 9 AM on April 29, 2008 and called me “aunt” for the first time. It was surreal. I could say that was the day I knew I was irreparably in love forever, but that would not be accurate. I was in love with you since I knew you were created! Way, way before you made your appearance into the world, surprisingly early. By about two months, to be exact. A desperate and hopeless love that nothing in the world could ever shake. 

On this very special day, I now look back and remember these past 12 years ... 

You beat all the odds in those first days in the hospital and came home earlier than anyone expected it. You ate, and laughed, and demanded, and grew pretty much without a concern that you were early and you had to chill to make up for some time. You plowed right on through, head first, towards life, without fear or reservation! Just with infinite courage and gusto. 

You visited more countries in your first two years of life than I visited in my first twenty! You crossed The Atlantic, and drove almost the entire Eastern seaboard of the US. You scraped your knees, and played, and ate, and learned, and grew some more … 

Then, you got to became a big brother. After the couple of so months of feeling left out, maybe, you learned fast how to manage that competition. And you decided it was not a competition at all. You learned to love and protect your little brother pretty much like everyone hoped, only more. 

Then, there came the Lego phase. And then the Skylander phase. Then the boy scout phase, and the fishing and camping one (I hope these last ones stick around for a while!). Now, the Harry Potter one! And it goes on ... 

You somehow figured out almost instinctively how to unconditionally love people, animals and the environment. You are always willing to go the extra mile to support those you love and to be kind to those in need.  I will never forget how, with your brother, you donated your money to the Australian fires. Before then, when you were wee big, you stopped in the middle of the street to pick up a doll for a little girl who had dropped it. Your empathy only grew with you … 

We have watched you grow, and become this amazing human being, considerate, kind, incredibly talented with an uncanny patience to learn and evolve.Yet, still a child. Still innocent and full of life.  

Who would have thought that that baby, so little he could fit in almost two large palms will one day teach himself how to write music and computer programs? That he would teach himself how to cook and install and troubleshoot software for anyone, including his teachers? That he would want to learn how to do complicated magic tricks, and stone carve, do woodworking, and even knit? Your qualities are many and I love you for them all. But if I had to pick one thing that amazes me always about you is your insatiable curiosity. I hope you keep that forever, sweet boy! 

Through it all, through all your maturity and savviness, you remained this beautiful, wide-eyed kid, that busted up his head a year or so ago, and twisted an ankle. You say cute things now like “Thank you for creating me in creative mode” and “maybe my manners are now in quarantine, too.” Now, we chat on Discord and Facebook messenger and you write me beautiful cards for my birthday. You draw beautifully and you sold your first poster. All this seems surreal, too. I still want to somewhere find that little helpless baby, born 12 years ago, and although I can still see him in your eyes and smile, that baby is long gone. You’re what I call a “real human” now.  

Now, more than the first day when I knew you existed, and even more than the day you were born, I love and cherish you and thank God you’re in our lives! For everything you are, and everything you have given us. 

Thank you for the many memories, Mr. Patrick. Thank you for teaching us how to discover the world with you. Thank you for making me an aunt. And more than anything, thank you for the laughs! I cannot imagine what the next 12 years will bring us (I would not even dare), but my curiosity is as big as yours to find out! 

Happiest of birthdays, my love! Many hugs, sweet buddy, and infinite love from the USA! 

Full Circle: 10 Years.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” (Dr. Seuss)

They tell you you should do something special for your anniversaries. And we surely tried to plan something special for our 10 year anniversary. But life and COVID19 got in the way and our trip to the Old Country got canceled. But something special we are doing. Something memorable and unique: surely we will never forget our first ever celebration in confinement, at home, with stores all closed to the point we couldn’t even buy each other gifts, and with the flower man delivering flowers with surgical gloves on. What a hoot! A story to tell our nephews, if they should ever forget … 

I can’t even begin to tell you about what a wild ride these ten years have been! We’ve had it all, as life is such a party… Enumerating everything we’ve been through, all the storms and triumphs, feels like maybe cheapening the beauty of all that has been … More than anything else, I want to remember these ten years as the best part of my life. The part where I grew and finally matured. The part where I truly became whole. The part where I gave all that I could give from a deep, deep place in my heart. 

I never believed in truly happy marriages before. I knew some couples, very few, in my life that came close, but true happiness, so much of it that it stops your breathing, I thought a product of imagination of really gifted writers. But I was humbled and blessed with this man in my life who gave me that and much more during these amazing years.

If I have one advice for anyone (should anyone be looking for it) about what a true happy partnership is, having learned what I have learned in the past 10 years, I would say this: figure out who you are. Figure out who you are, and what you are about. Figure out who you are when you’re happy, when you’re sad, when you’re enraged, and when you’re at peace. Figure out who you are when things are easy and when they are hard. Figure out who you are when you cry and when you laugh the hardest. Then, find the person who makes you be the best of you in every situation, every day, always. The person that brings nothing but the best you to the table. Every. Day. In. Every. Situation. No matter how good, or how bad. Then, you’re a winner. 

Happy anniversary, babe! Thank you for letting me do me every second of the past 315,569,220 seconds of our lives. I can only hope you feel the same … Looking forward to many, many more open and closed spaces with you … 

***

The past 10 years have been like a boomerang for us, location-wise: our together-journey started 10 years ago today in Greensboro, NC. That year we moved away to Utah for most of our years together. Today, we are sitting across from each other in our living room in Pittsboro, NC. Full circle, indeed ... 

In-between those locations, we traveled a lot. Because travel is what we do that makes us both happy. We never took it for granted, but we don't, more so today than ever. 

Today, we are home. Today, we travel through the memories we made in these past 10 years. Here’s a look at the past 10 anniversaries where our freedom was a little bit less confined:

April 2011: Bryce Canyon, UT: we got to our hotel (Ruby's) almost at midnight to find out they were still closed for the winter season, and not open quite yet for the summer season. Although ... we had booked it online the week before. Luckily, the Best Western across the street was open. 

2012: Pojorata, Romania: this is the backyard of where I grew up in the Moldovan Carpathians. I was dying for us to go hike that mountain behind our house, but we were there for 4 days and it rained non-stop. Aa. got really sick, too. 

2013: Zion National Park, UT: We hiked the Zion Canyon trail not knowing there are portions of the trail missing. We had to cross skinny metal bridges that bridged the rocks with hundreds of feet of abyss below us to come up to this view of the Zion Mt. Carmel road below.

2014: Las Vegas, NV: We spent some time in Vegas and we were not alone. My sister came along for the ride. 

2015: London, the UK: We spent our fifth anniversary in London. We loved The Westminster Abbey the best, but the gin and the tea and the food were amazing, too. We loved it so much, we wanted to go see all the isles for our 10th anniversary, but ... 

2016: Utah Lake, UT: I was only two months away from my open-heart surgery this year, so we could not go far from home. But we went shooting (Canons, not rifles) around this gorgeous lake as nature was waking up and snow was melting ... 

2017: Moab, UT: We spent our anniversary weekend in one of our favorite national parks with dear friends who were visiting us from NC. Now, we are almost neighbors, living in the same small town, since we moved back to NC ourselves. 

2018: Chapel Hill, NC: we chased one of our favorite chefs, Brandon Sharp, from CA to NC, as he relocated here, after we moved back. Dinner at The Carolina Inn. (Brandon now has his own restaurant in Chapel Hill and our dinner tonight comes from him, too). 

2019: Charleston, SC: Magnolia Plantation was a dream. Humidity, marshes, Spanish moss, live oaks - we are back in the South and my heart is happy still. 

2010: Greensboro, NC: We lit this candle on our wedding day. I can only hope and pray that we continue to keep it burning just as bright as then for many, many, many more Aprils to come. Help me do that, babe! Happy 10th! Much love! 

From My Sister, on April 9th

Whatever I wanted to blog about today pales in comparison to the most thoughtful letter I got from my sis. 
Love you, A., forever and ever ... 

From my sister on my birthday:

I wanted to write a blog for my sister’s birthday since for the past year she wrote one blog for every person in our family’s birthday and I figure it’s not fair to have wonderful blog posts with such kind and heartwarming thoughts for every person and not for her in our family. I don’t know if I have the same skills as she has in blogging, especially in English, but I’ll try my best. 

Ever since I can remember, she was there. Now, you know your first memories, fuzzy and all unclear, coming back in bits and pieces, in emotions and smells. I’ve never been able to clearly dissociate in my mind which person appeared in my very first memory, my mother, my father, my grandmother, my grandfather, our nanny or even my grand-grandmother as they were all there in my first years taking care of us. But I guess it was her as she was always there, in all those bits of images and pictures scattered in my memory. 

I used to see her like kind of me, a child, but so much older and wiser! Somebody that I can look up to, I can follow, I can copy! Sometimes too bossy and annoying, sometimes so loving and caring, but so comforting that she was there.

I remember her curly thick black hair that everybody admired and I was so jealous of, her white skin and red cheeks, I used to see her like Snow White! Because she was the one telling me stories, introducing me to Snow White, Red Riding Hood or Cinderella. 

I remember that moment, many years later in my teenage years when we were all alone in a summer student seaside camp and stayed up on the beach to see the sunrise over the Black Sea and, like in childhood, she began to tell me princess stories. I have my life moments that I like to cherish forever and like to encapsulate in a magic box and that particular one is definitely one of them. I remember that sense of peace, of perfection of being loved and cared for. I was the little sister away from home and needing comforting. No one can tell stories like she can! Two years ago we watched again together the sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean, we always chase that special moment, I guess, that we shared so many years before and I hope we can chase many more from now on. 

She taught me how to write and read. She always took her role as a big sister very seriously. I didn’t dare not listen. And still she was the first one I could exercise my rebellious nature with. Was much easier than with adults, haha.

I remember how I envied her good grades, her work ethic, her perseverance. Despite her challenges, her health that was never perfect, she was brave and she worked twice as hard as others. That’s maybe why she expects much of others too. I remember feeling lucky that I was not the one inheriting the highest cholesterol in the family and condemned forever not to be able to enjoy life to the fullest, but at the same time I felt guilty. But also I felt in awe about all her accomplishments and how she approached this terrible, condemning and limiting disease. She taught me how to approach pain, suffering, life in general, with that stubbornness and courage.

She was born to be the big sister, the leader. The one with her head on her shoulders and feet firmly on the ground, the practical one, able to repair a car if she puts her mind to it, the one with answers to every question and solution to every problem. I was not always listening but I found myself later forced to recognize she was right all along.

I remember the good times, family vacations, discovering life together, reading philosophy till late at night, debating Cioran and Eliade, doing homework side by side, discovering The Doors or Led Zep, crying at Schindler’s List, going up the mountains and walking the beaches, visiting Europe and later US and Canada together.

Realizing together the greatness of life, the beauty of this Earth, sharing our passion for travelling and nature. Making plans together, waiting for life to happen.

Remembering falling asleep with Dolly, our cat, between the two of us, purring. The mornings I woke up early and she would sleep till later. The week-end morning coffees on the balcony, lazy vacation days painting our toe nails and watching MTV UK. We were different and so completing each other. Her constant chatter about everything and everybody, me listening. How I missed all that when she left the country.

In my final French exam in high school they asked me to talk about a person or a personality that I most admire. Could be Ghandi, Einstein, Jeanne d’Arc, a family member or a rock star. I talked about my sister.  I could just not think about someone else I admire more. I was in awe at 3 years old when I opened my eyes to the world, still in awe at 18, although sometimes in our teenage years we threw ourselves in terrible fights. We just knew we loved each other so much, no matter what.

Then we parted ways. She left Romania at 22. She was so brave and so daring, she chased her dreams, even though frightening. First time in my life I could feel true anxiety for I felt like a part of myself was all alone wandering in another part of the world. She was this this small fragile looking young girl, trying to build a life in a strange land, away from everybody and everything she knew until then. But if anyone can make it out there in the wild world, than this would be my strong willed, good sense, courageous sister.

And I started to miss her so much. She used to write long e-mails that I would print and read to our relatives. My grandma was always crying while I read and I felt sometimes I was grasping for air. We wished we were there with her, I’m sure she went through rough times, terrible loneliness, health problems and we were so far away.

Life was kinder at some point and she met her wonderful husband, I moved to Canada so we were a little bit closed, I had my 2 sons and discovered an incredibly loving and caring auntie in her!

And then she had the heart surgery, I remember I could not even speak or think clearly in the days before the surgery without feeling like it’s not enough air to breathe. That fear, the impossible thoughts. And still I was confident that she will fight this like she fought all her battles in her life. She fought tooth and nail since she was little, fiercely, the odds, the disease, the genetics, anyone and anything. And sure enough she made it through and she continues the fight, day after day.

That’s probably one of the most important lessons I learned from her, to fight and to be brave, to take full advantage of the good things.  

I have been starting this blog, although I don’t have a blog, a while ago beginning, of March or so. In another time, another world it seems. The world now on April 8 is so much different than the world on March 6, at least my world, my reality, my day to day as probably is for pretty much everyone else. Now we’re in the middle of a pandemic.

I was thinking though that my sister somehow, again, prepared me for these terrible times . Not only that she always was a germophobe and always trying to make me aware that I should be careful in the airports, in the airplanes, in hotels, pretty much everywhere and stop touching everything (hey I’m the little sis, I still need to touch everything!). Not only that I need to always plan for worst but hope for the better, but probably the most important lesson was not to ever take the life and the health for granted. It is so precious, so fragile. Not to forget to stop and appreciate the sunbeam in the morning, the cat purring, the crisp air of the mountains, the bird singing and the sunrise over the sea. Not to forget to be there for our loved ones. Year after year, even though she is far away, even when she had heart surgery, she sends handwritten cards, she sends gifts to the whole family, to friends. Never missed one Christmas, never missed one Easter, never missed one birthday, never missed one March 8 or St Patrick lately, never missed one anniversary. Because yes, that’s important! Life is important, celebrating and cherishing it is so important, so precious. You actually can enjoy this precious gift one day and lose it tomorrow, so fast.

So thank you sis for all the great lessons you taught me ever since I can’t remember!

I love you so much and hope you’ll have a wonderful birthday!