71 de toamne

Cu tine în minte pășim împreună în cel de-al 71-lea an al vieții tale ... Cu tine de mână mă îndrept înspre ziua de maine. Cu speranță, cu dorința fierbinte de mai bine, de mai ușor ... 

De ziua ta mă coplesesc amintirile. Bucuria imensă pe care ți-o aducea fiecare concediu la mare.  Bucatele minunate pe care le pregăteai la sfârșitul fiecărei zile (abia așteptam să deschizi seara ușa de la camera noastră să ne întrebi “Cartofi prăjiți? Sau piure?”). Plimbările pe faleza de la Constanța - la deal și la vale pană se întuneca de-a dreptul și nu mai vedeam marea, doar îi auzeam ecoul ... 

Mereu am iubit gropițele din obrajii tăi slăbuți, și ochii tăi minunați în care se deschide parcă tot cerul ... Am iubit întotdeauna dragostea ta de adevăr, dreptatea, și directitudinea și onestitatea desăvârșite. Am iubit până și cicatricea ta adâncă de pe piept - în secret îmi doream și eu una și pană la urma viața mi-a daruit-o și mie. Un semn de durere dar și de tărie ... 

Mi-aduc aminte ce multă fericire îți aducea tata și ce imensă era dragostea dintre voi, chiar și în zilele cele mai grele ... Mi-aduc aminte de mulți ani frumoși, de seri în familie unde urmăream cu toții vreun serial sau când jucam cu toții Rummy sau tu cu tata, table ... Viața era grea în afară, dar ușoară între noi, pentru că apropierea și dragostea erau mari ... Asta țin cu mine, în inimă cât voi trăi! 

Când viața era mai ușoară, poate, 

și poate fără prea multe griji ...

Trăiesc din amintirile astea zilnic și nu-mi doresc nimic mai mult decât să ne ofere viața în continuare oportunități în care să ne facem altele, noi amintiri, din capitole noi care ni se deschid abia de acum înainte. 

Te iubesc, mama, mai mult decât orice cuvânt din orice limbă poate să descrie. Mi-ai dat onestitatea și puterea ta, chiar dacă nu mi-ai dat gropitele și nici culoarea ochilor. Te iubim cu toții și vrem să ne trăiești sănătoasă și fără griji în continuare ... 

La mulți ani sănătoși, cu putere și ușurință ... 

Sweet 16

I just finished reading the blog post I wrote the day you were born (https://wander-world.blogspot.com/2008/04/from-heart.html). And this reminds me: you are part of this generation that lived your entire life on the internet. Between blogs and Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat - your life has been thoroughly documented somewhere ... 

There is not much more to say that has not been shown or said, is there?! Only you make sure that there is ... You are a growing boy - a boy? Not anymore. But not quite a man yet, to paraphrase a famous song. A growing boy (to me, you’ll always be a boy) with endless resources to grow, surprise, learn, shock, inform, and remind us that there is no boring minute when you’re watching a child come of age. So, there is so much more to say, still! 

Today, you are reaching a milestone. There was one year, and then three, and then five, and then seven, and ten. And now, it’s 16. It’s that sweet but also bitter time when you want to hang on to your innocence but life and people have other plans for you. You had small bites of real life so far, but they were more or less spent under the watchful eyes of your parents and family. From now on, you will need to figure out how to look for life opportunities and show us what you’ve learned. Will you remember everything we taught you? Will you know when to apply all the teachings we’ve all imparted so you can make better choices than we ever made?!  Time will have to tell and we’re waiting with baited breath for you to show us ... 

I hope that you’ll never lose your sense of humor, fun and partly your innocence, but that you’ll be able to also make really good and everlasting choices starting today. I hope that you will slowly but surely come into your own mature self - into a good, serious, reliable, and more than anything kind human being. I truly hope so ... I truly wish you so ... 

On this celebratory day, I am grateful for every minute I have ever spent in the past 16 years thinking and praying for you, and for every minute we spent together ... We never know what will come, but I always cherish what we already have: 

My wedding day ...

Watching you learn woodworking and teaching you knitting ....

Watching you cook  your first breakfast... 

Making your own art ... (I wish you’d remember your talent!) ... 

Writing your first computer game ... (yeah, whatever happened to that?!) ... 

Crossing Lake Ontario to Toronto Island together in search of peace ...

Touring Casa Loma ... 

Taking you to your first dip into the Atlantic Ocean when we were barely a year old ... 

You introducing me to beaver tails (you created a monster!) ... 

I’ll always have these memories, and more: taking you to your first baseball game, musical, and your first spinning restaurant. And not to forget: watching our first ever total solar eclipse together - surely a first and who knows - maybe the only one. 

You might never be a little boy with Spiderman facepaint in the middle of summer ever again - but I hope we will always continue to build memories together, small treasures of boxed time that we can cherish forever ... 

I wish you all the happiness in the world, but more than that - I wish you wisdom and kindness! With them, happiness will come. 

Happy birthday, sweet Pat! Enjoy your day and may the new year ahead be the best one yet! Here’s to strong, peaceful, happy beginnings! 

Much love ... 

I treasure every face, I remember every year, looking forward for more milestones to come ...

From Many Moons Ago

I remember that evening and later the night like it was yesterday ... The details that I might not be remembering I’ll make up and they might still fit ... I remember the air, the night, the pretend story, the party afterwards, dancing till almost dawn, our youth ... 

It was a warm summer evening in Costinești, Romania, on the Black Sea coast - the kind of summer evening where the air sticks to your skin like honey. In our rental house, we finished getting dressed, our skins hurting from too much sun (or at least mine was),  and then wandered off onto the streets in search of some entertainment for the night. It was you, me, my sister, your brother, and some other friends ... 

Our rental place was a crammed room in a house inland. All the fun stuff was on the beach, about a 20 minute walk or so. This was back in the day when we didn’t mind walking for 20 minutes ... 

It was 1996, I believe, or maybe another year later than that?! At any rate, you and my sister were teenagers. I was in college, but an old soul myself - maybe too old for my own good (wasn’t I ever?). I was the college student, older sister who mocked everything you young'uns were up to with an air of superiority (I know, some things never change, eh?). 

We eventually reached the beach, with its promenade area, where all the tourists were strolling, eating summer street treats (kebabs, ice-cream, fresh waffles), people-watching and flirting ... Costinești was a young people’s town, so I don’t remember many families with kids or older married people. I remember many dance clubs, most of them outdoors, lots of bars and restaurant patios. It was a teenage and young adult heaven and we, I suppose, fit right in ... 

We started walking from the house at dusk, but by the time we made it to the promenade, it was full-blown dark ... 

In the midst of the promenade area, somewhere at the edge of the beach, with its back towards the water, there was this two or three-wall  shack advertising to be a “Registry office” where lovers, couples, or even people who had just met could “get (mock) married”. The officiant would help you read your vows, they would pronounce you husband and wife and even give you a glass of champagne and a marriage certificate. You were 17. My sister was maybe 18. You both had just started dating that year (if indeed the year was 1996) ... 

And you both wanted to “get married”. I was mortified! I was thinking of all sorts of bad omen signs that this might bring. What if you’re tempting fate? What if you’re never going to get (really) married when the time might come in your future? What if something would happen to one of you and at least one of you won’t make it till the “real” time when you should get married, in “real” life? I cannot remember what I said but I do remember that in my mind, I was definitely not on board with this ... 

However, one thing I do remember that I thought right away: I knew right then and there that you loved my sister. I knew that if a kid of 17 can sign up, even in jest, even pretense-fully for such a commitment, that if a kid of 17 does not think that marriage might make him un-cool to his friends and little brother ... I knew the only explanation was that this was really, truly love ... And right then and there I knew, you were there in our lives to stay and care for my sister ... And I knew she loved you back. Totally, unconditionally and unreservedly ... And I was grateful for you two finding each other ... 

Happy birthday, friend, brother, and father to my only nephews! Thanks for always keeping your commitment to my sister - even from way back when it was just a child’s play to the rest of the world ... 

Congratulations! Or "casa de piatra"!

A Teenager. A Funny Guy. In His Own Words.

Because this world is a dark place and because we all need a smile, here are just some of the musings you have entertained us with in the past year: 

Kevin: Do we have to have dinner with this person at the table?

His mom: So what if she were to have dinner with us at the table? She is just people. Just like you! 

Kevin: Yeah, but I hate people! 

*

Kevin (looking at the picture of a friend’s new baby): I don’t want to be a babyist, but he looks just like any other baby.

His mom:: What is a ‘babyist’?

Kevin: It’s someone who is generalizing that all babies look alike.

*

Kevin, on trying Chick-fil-A for the first time, as he is eating his sandwich and fries: Chick-fil-A makes McDonalds look like a soup kitchen … Anyone have more fries?

*

Kevin: I am gonna marry someone from the Chick-fil-a family and become its CEO. And then, I'll commence the world-wide colonization of Chick-fil-a so every country will have it. (he pauses for dramatic effect). Yes, I am not gonna START it. I am gonna COMMENCE it! This is how you know it's for real!

*

Kevin to me, when he came to visit me: Coming to see you is not a chore. It’s a gift. 

*

Me: I am already fat. 

Kevin: Oh, my God! You and my mom are the most delusional people in the world! You are both already skinny! (such a sweet nephew, ain’t he?!)

*

Kevin (insisting that the family should keep the tradition of decorating cookies for Christmas): We are never too old for Christmas. 

*

Around the holidays, when it was raining in Montreal, he says:  What’s with all this rain?! It’s supposed to snow in December. I feel scammed by Canada.

Happy birthday, funny little man! You’re an official teenager now (God help us), but always a little man to me! 

Hope you’re having a fun day and, even better, a fun ride for the next 6 or so years of teenage-hood! It’ll be a wild ride, I am sure.  

Love your life! We love you! 

La 70 de Ani - o Retrospectivă

Sascut, județul Bacău, 21 septembrie 1953. O zi de toamnă, probabil blândă și senină în care albastrul nepătat al cerului urma să se reverse în ochii tăi care abia se deschideau către lume. 

Maia a zis că te-ai născut după o nuntă la care venise din Timișoara, unde locuiați atunci, doar pentru un weekend. Dar viața nu te-ntreabă când vrei să vii - așa cum nu te întreabă când vrei să pleci. Soarta a vrut să fii născută în Moldova, vatra străbunilor tăi, chiar dacă părinții trăiau la celălalt colț de țară la acea vreme. 

Erau frământări mari în lume, în 1953 - Stalin abia murise, războiul din Coreea se termina și americanii plecau acasă cu coada între picioare. Așa cum o vor face de repetate ori de atunci înainte. Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej era prim-ministrul Republicii Populare Române și încă nu se transformase în oraș. 1953 pare cu o veșnicie în urmă. Dar sunt de fapt doar 70 de ani!

E mult? E puțin? Mie mi se pare cât o clipă! 

Mă strădui sa găsesc cuvinte potrivite pentru așa o ocazie de imensă! Și mărturisesc că mi-e greu. Cum sa sumezi doar în câteva cuvinte omul care ți-a dat viață și fără de care nu ai fi existat? Dar încerc sa merg înapoi pe drumul memoriei și să pun pe hârtie (virtuală) câteva gânduri despre cea mai importantă femeie din viața mea! 

Ai fost cu mine toată viața mea, de la prima răsuflare și până azi. Și în zi de celebrare mi-aduc aminte de toate zilele frumoase și de cele mai puțin frumoase pe care le-am împărtășit. Pentru că viața nu e făcută doar din fericire. Amar și tristețe există pentru a ne aminti cât de sfinte și binecuvântate sunt zilele senine! Așa e rostul lumii ... decis de o putere mai mare decât noi. 

Serbările de sfârșit de an când îmi făceai coronița pentru premiul întâi. Zilele toride de vară când mergeam la mare și mă forțai să stau la plajă ca “să prind culoare”. Serile reci și întunecate de iarnă, când eram prin clasa întâi și mă învățai să împletesc: “un ochi pe față, unul pe dos.” 

Lecțiile de viață pe care mi le dădeai de obicei în bucătărie unde petreceai cea mai mare parte din timpul în care nu erai la servici. Mai ales mi-aduc aminte când mi-ai dat să curăț primul meu morcov, când locuiam la Târgu Frumos. Țin minte cum m-ai avertizat că sigur o să mă tai și că trebuie să fiu atentă. Eu, încăpățânată cum sunt, am zis că nu mă tai, lasă-mă să curăț eu. Și bineînțeles că m-am tăiat. Dar am învățat cum să țin un cuțit de atunci. Și așa ai fost mereu: alături de mine, veghind, îndrumând, dar dându-mi libertatea să încerc viața în felul meu. 

Mi-aduc aminte multele excursii pe care le-am făcut împreună, când am mers împreună la Durău când am terminat clasa a 10-a în care ai mers doar din întâmplare, fără a planui dinainte. Apoi toate excursiile în America atunci când ai venit să vezi viața pe care mi-am făcut-o aici: Myrtle Beach, Atlanta, Las Vegas, Monument Valley, Parcul Arcurilor din Utah, Barajul de la Hoover Dam, Salt Lake City, cutreierând cramele și degustând vinuri în Carolina de Nord și Virginia ... Când ai venit la Summerfield și l-ai crescut pe Gypsy dintr-o mână de pisic. Gypsy pe care de fapt tu l-ai și “botezat”. Când ai venit în Utah și m-ai vegheat la spital, după operația de inimă.  Amintiri de neuitat care mi se par ca s-au întâmplat ieri ... 

Astăzi, de ziua ta, când vremurile ți se par triste, când marea dragoste a vieții tale te veghează de sus, și nu din dreapta ta, îți aduc aminte că ești înconjurată de dragostea noastră. Nu putem aduce niciodată trecutul în prezent și nu-l putem duplica în viitor. Tot ce putem face este să privim înainte, și să încercăm să creăm în continuare amintiri frumoase împreună. 

Maia ne spunea ca te-ai nascut dansând, a doua zi după o nuntă. Așa aș vrea să te vedem mereu: dansând și zâmbind și bucurandu-te de muzică, de familie, de viață ...  

Mom, te iubim mai mult decât o pot spune în cuvinte. Când mă uit la cei 70 de ani (48 dintre ei din amintire, și restul din poveștile altora) sunt uimită de câte au trecut peste tine și prin câte ai trecut, fizic, psihic, și emoțional. Cât de mult te-ai schimbat și totuși cât de mult ai rămas aceeași femeie frumoasă, puternică, și de bază care ai fost mereu - un exemplu de tenacitate, ambiție, inteligență, circumspecție, și onestitate. 

Sper din tot sufletul că astăzi să te uiți în urmă și să nu plângi după toată fericirea care a fost odată și care poate ți se pare astăzi estompată, ci să te bucuri că ești alături de cei care te iubesc, și să zâmbești la gîndul posibilităților vieții care vor veni ... 

Ce a fost nu mai poate fi, dar astăzi deschizi o nouă decadă, un nou capitol, și îți dorim să-l umpli cu speranță, sănătate, și lumină ... 

Acuma când la multele atribute ți se adaugă și înțelepciunea, sper să o folosești pentru a-ți găsi în continuare făgașul tău spre zile bune, ca să ne bucuri mulți, mulți ani de acum înainte cu prezența ta minunată, precum o floare de câmp supraviețuiește extraordinar furtunilor și rămâne mereu verticală,  învingătoare și parcă mai proaspătă, în câmpul dur și aspru al vieții.  

Te iubim și vrem sa te știm puternică așa cum ai fost mereu ... Uită-te în adâncul inimii tale și găsește comoara de neprețuit care ești ... și care ne ești tuturor ... 

La mulți ani! 

16 aprilie 2010 - ziua cea mai fericită din viața mea, ziua nunții.
Te iubesc! 

Every Day Is a First. And So Is Today.

You know when you are too close to someone, or to some thing ... you can no longer really see all their details anymore? Nor can you appreciate all their intricacies, quirks, charm, uniqueness? You feel like you’re too close to them to be impartial? You’re too close to them to know ... do they have blue eyes or green? Do they roll their Rs or have a lisp?  - it takes you a minute to know for sure ... 

This is how I feel about you: you consume my every thought every single second of every day. Every minute, I think or wonder: what is she up to today? I wonder what crazy file does she have to wrestle with today that would throw her in the midst of stress and frenzy? What worries will she face today? How can I make her smile more? How can I surprise her more (for I know how you much you love surprises - just about as much as I hate them!) 

I asked myself a rhetorical question today: what can I possibly say about you today, for your birthday, that I have not said before? I feel like every thought I ever had about you has been spent. Every word - uttered. Every feeling - expressed. No surprises and no novelty here. Until Aa. blurted out: “She is 45!” - and I laughed out loud! Yep! “A. is 45” has never, till today, been said before ... 

When did this happen? 45 years ago today, while I was at the beach with our grandparents, walking the streets, you were born many miles away in our home town. They told me when I would get home, I would have a sister and I did not understand, at 3 years and 4 months, what that exactly meant. When I did get home, I asked them all if you were going to spend the night. That shows you how smart I was ... 

But you did spend the night. And every night after that, thank God! And you became part of the family and slowly part of me, too! Your presence, your being, your antics and your life ... became part of mine too. 

I think what amazes me, still, 45 years later is how different we are and yet how common our lives have been. We grew together, almost twinned,  branches from the same trunk, but turned out so incredibly different. Just like branches feeding from the same life-giving water, we twisted in different directions, we grew a different number of twigs (me - none, and you - two), we turned different directions (you - North, and me - South), we bloomed at different times (you - early, and me - late), we will most certainly turn to fall at different ages, too ... I grew out tough and gnarly, you - thin, slender, flexible like the draping branches of a willow. Both, beautiful and strong, but also both singular in who we are ... 

We have faced so much together, in our own time and on our own path. But I never, for one second, ever felt like you were too far away from me. This past year has been so hard! So incredibly hard. And although I thought I knew everything there was to know about you, and about us, I have learned so much more, still. I have learned how much unassumingly stronger (than me) you are. How much more poised and dignified, to my erratic, crazy mess! You have revealed a new sorela to me - I would not say that it’s one I never knew was there, but one that I only guessed that must be dormant, lurking in the darkness, ready to come out when the time was right. And the time for strength, for ultimate, desperate strength, did come this year. And for you sharing it with me, I will thank you forever ... 

Happy 45th, Sorela! I wish you many clear mornings with strong coffee and kitty cuddles. Sunny days, as sunny as your own outlook on life. Many runs in dewy meadows, downhill and bug-free. Many days of health and lightness - in body, in spirit, in laughter ... I wish the good and easy parts in you would never change nor spoil. I wish life, no matter how hard, would never harden you. And I wish you’ll know that every day, every second of every day, I am here for you to gladly lighten the load if I can, and just like one branch supports the other, to ask for you to catch me if I am fixin’ to bend. 

I remember today more than ever what our parents have always told us: when they will be no longer, we will have each other. This promise on their part seemed but a dream till recently. But after this past year, I am starting to see that day more and more clearly come into focus now, and I am so incredibly grateful that you will be there to hold me up! You’re the only human that knows my past and my soul as well as I do. You’re the only one who speaks the same unspoken language I think and feel. 

I wish you the strength, the lightness, the youth of your first 45 years for the next 45 and beyond! 

I love you more. Now, and always. 

You Have Arrived!

 

I know I always start with this question: “where have the years gone?” or “when did this happen?” so I will switch it up this time. I’ll just say: you’re here, on the 15th year of your life! You have arrived.  And, I am sorry to say - I know it’s painful and depressing and what not (or knowing you, probably not) - but you’re no baby anymore. Welcome to young adulthood, son! The fact that you are a tax-paying, potential union-enrolling workforce member should tell you that childhood is in the rearview mirror. 

And oh, I am so happy for you! I feel like in some ways we have all been waiting for this day since the minute you were born, on your terms only, 2 months before your time 15 years ago today, when you could not even breathe on your own... I have been wondering and dreaming about what purpose you might have been put on this planet for. And now, that day is near: we’re gonna find out. I hope soon!

I hope your natural-born curiosity, your immense empathy, your love of family among other things will guide you to great things, sweet boy, and will only put you in the best places to make the most of. 

As any teenager, of course, you are playing the part: confused, klutzy, lost at times, eyes wide-open with clever and not so clever ideas, full of energy and drive, almost to a fault, with seemingly no direction at all, you plough right on through ... You try out every thing that comes to your mind (just like you did as a small child when you were learning how to knit and do woodworking right alongside learning how to build stuff from legos and how to play Minecraft several years before your time). And yet, there is  a grace and a kindness about you that warms my soul and wants me to always draw you near ... 

Sometimes I think you’re like a garden: beautiful and loaded with richly-growing, blooming vines, with breathless smells and vibrant colors; but also full of weeds. I want to compulsively reach in and pluck all the weeds out, so I can let all the flowers shine free. And then I stop myself and think: those are not mine to pluck! Those are yours to groom or let die; yours to decide how to use them; yours to turn into lessons or let overgrow and eat all the beauty out. But yours. Your decision only. 

Hopefully, with guardrails and “training wires” all around you from all of us, you will find the right path to grow into. Or maybe not. But you will have to do you, and do it on your terms just like you did your birth in your own terms, too. You will be either a worse version than we all ever dreamed for you to be, or much, much better yet than our wildest imagination. 

Spring forward, sweet child! Shoot to the stars and be daring! I know somewhere in there there are good bones ... you just need to fill them with good dreams and put them up to good deeds, too ...

Do you remember my bracelet: find your purpose, my dear boy! The world is your oyster. Make yourself count for it all! 

Love you mostest still and forever ...

Happiest of birthdays and I wish you the best wishes you can ever wish for yourself! 

Amintiri de Pret, ca Niște Bijuterii ...

Am prieteni și membri ai familiei (părinții mei, de pildă) care au crescut cu cate 10+ mătuși. Noi am avut doar una - pe sora tatei. 

Ca multe  alte relații din familia noastră, am fost mereu apropiată de ea - suntem o familie unită, care nu se lasă intimidată de depărtarea fizică, oricât de mare ar fi aceasta. 

Mătușa noastră, singura sora a tatei, a fost mereu o parte integrantă din familia noastră. Mereu alături de noi, la nevoi, la bucurii, la petreceri și ocazii mai puțin vesele - nu-mi pot imagina familia noastră fără ea! 

Amintirile sunt multe din cei 47+ de ani de viață alături de ea. Una din cele mai frumoase amintiri este atunci când, în copilărie, mergeam la ziua ei, în martie. Casa era plina de flori, cei mari se adunau în sufragerie în jurul mesei pline de bunătăți, iar eu și sora mea ne refugiam în dormitor. Acolo, într-un dulap care părea ca un seif secret, plin de comori ascunse, descopeream colecția mătușii de bijuterii! Alese tot una și una, cu pietre prețioase de care nu auzisem niciodată, una mai frumoasă și mai speciala ca alta, descopeream pandantive, lanțuri, coliere, brățări, inele de tot felul de mărimi și modele - pungute si cutii care păreau ca nu se mai termină. Le admiram și le încercam - ele părând enorm de imense pe mâinile noastre de copii - ore întregi, pierzând cu totul trecerea timpului. 

Peste ani, ne trezeam cu câte un cadou de ziua noastră care semăna teribil de mult cu vreo bijuterie din colecția neprețuită pe care o cunoșteam așa de bine. În fiecare an, cu fiecare vizită, colecția parcă arată altfel. Și astăzi, după mulți ani de zile, și după multe daruri, mă-ntreb oare câte din aceste comori le mai are?! 

Fiecare piesă din colectia ei care mi-a revenit spune câte o poveste și îmi amintește de zilele de odinioară în care eram cu toții împreună, prinși în coconul cald și plin de siguranță al unei familii unite. 

Există o istorie a fiecărei piese de bijuterii - fie ca e legată de zodia noastră, de culorile  preferate a celor pentru care este cumparată, fie ca e o piesă “care se asorteaza cu brățara pe care mi-a dat-o anul trecut”, aceste mici comori au viața lor, unică și plină de farmec, și încorporează până la ultimul detaliu eleganța și gustul mătușii mele pentru ceea ce se numește frumos și artă. 

De ziua ei, îi doresc din suflet o zi frumoasă așa ca o bijuterie de pret: plină de înțeles și de istorie, bogată și darnică așa cum este și ea. 

La multi ani, Rodi! Te iubim mult și îți dorim mulți, mulți ani sănătoși în continuare! 

Câteva din micile comori dăruite de mătușa mea, peste ani și ani. Aș vrea să îi dea viața comori însutite, mai mult sau mai puțin materiale, în anii care vor urma ... 

The Past?! No. More: the Future!

Dad used to say that birthdays and New Years are great times to "draw the line" and remember how far you've come.

So, today, as I celebrate you, I am also celebrating all the memorable, sometimes hilarious, sometimes scary times we have shared. I can't help but feel grateful and blessed that you were born to share all these times with me!

I look back at all the years that have gone by since that fateful day when we glanced at each other in the newspaper hallway. I would have lost good money if someone would have told me we'd be where we are today on that day. And I am glad I would have lost!

Do you remember ...

• Our first camping trip on Kerr Lake (2008) - I could not believe it that Mr. “Comfort Man” agreed not only to a tent-camping trip with me on Kerr Lake, but also agreed to it in the middle of Bug Season, North Carolina. This was back when we were just “work friends” and not even dating. I guess a man does a lot when he’s (somewhat secretly) in love. You worked tirelessly for days to prepare to make sure we'd have everything, but still forgot your newly-bought, much-talked-about lantern at home. Maybe that was a good omen since our life together has been just that: a mix of well-planned years as well as feeling in the dark. Who knows?!
• That hot July 4th in the Moab desert, when we rented a hot-red Jeep Wrangler to drive around Canyonlands, totally off-grid, when it was so hot that our ice melted in the hard-top cooler inside the car with the A/C blasting? We had no cell-signal, our water boiling hot, 30 miles away from any paved roads, and truly I thought we will just die in the middle of nothing and they’ll find our bare bones, meat shriveled up from heat, maybe a week later, we'd cook that fast!
• The “big proposal” in a poetic and friendly spot called “The Devil’s Kitchen”, in the middle of nothing, atop a mountain desert in Utah?
• Our wedding day when the wind picked up so strongly it was impossible to light our unity candle. Our minister said “it’s mostly symbolic” and everyone laughed, as in "isn't it all?!". Two people had to hold the screen behind the "unity table" so as not to be blown away by the wind. In the nervousness of it all, I had to also drop your ring and scratch it before I could put it on your finger. Should we say "ominous" again?! Hmm ...
• That time when we drove to Bryce Canyon for our first anniversary, having booked a hotel and paid for it and everything, and arrived around 11PM (after work, tired, and weary, driving through the desert with no soul around) and finding that the hotel is “closed for the winter” (April is “winter” in Utah, I guess!). Good thing that another, smaller, local hotel was open right across the street, and almost empty and could put us up for a couple of nights. That "luck" followed us years later, when we tried checking into another hotel we thought we made reservations for in Boone, NC, only to be told they have no record of us. Again, we were lucky that we found another room nearby, despite it being Labor Day weekend. Life is just fussy enough for us to make us remember it, isn't it?!
• Why is it that our weirdest memories are hotel-related mishaps?! Hmm ... Like that time when we were haunted in our hotel room in Blowing Rock, NC.
• The time when we flew to Europe and we almost got stuck there in the middle of the French airline workers’ strike. We got rerouted through Germany on our way back, only to have me detained and patted down three times before allowing me to book the flight to the US.
• The first time you took me to a casino in Mesquite, NV, the day I got laid off and on my first try, the first time in my life when I touched a slot machine, I won $20. I reckon life knew I needed it that day ... 
• We have all the luck with the snow, too - especially hitting us at the least expected times: on top of Grandfather Mountain in early November (early for North Carolina for sure), when the snowstorm wind got us locked out of the car, we got snowed in in Deer Valley, UT one year and then again in Jackson Hole, WY the following year both on Memorial Day weekend (end of May). Someone up there must know you’re from Michigan and that you of all people can take it. Little do they know that 20+ years of The South melted you up.
• That time when we rode the motorcycle on the Alpine Loop in Utah (25 miles away from home) and our battery died in Lehi (50 miles away from home), on our way back in the middle of a scorching hot July summer day!  We had to walk our cycle to the nearest grocery store to get into some A/C for comfort, and wait for a tow truck. But how available is a tow truck on July 4th?! I have never in my life spent that many hours in a grocery store without buying a thing, let’s just say that. 
• That time when we took your mom for her 70th birthday to Niagara Falls and the only restaurant open for dinner was in a ... discount t-shirt store?! Yeah, classy all right! 
• That time you walked into my parents’ kitchen for the very first time, at night, famished from a 24 hour trip across the world, grabbed your first morsel of meat sitting on the table and said “I love this! What is it?!” We all answered: “Cow tongue!”
• The time when we ended up in a shipping container in Bucharest, in the middle of a foggy, wet, November night, trying to rent a car on the black market from these kids who declared the container their very legit and very official “office”. 
• Do you remember the wind- and sand-storm in Sulphur Springs, Montana, in the middle of the prairie, waiting for Donna the Buffalo to start playing at the very originally named “Red Ants Pants Music Festival”? I have never eaten that much dust in my life! I swear, 10 years later, I am still dusting off my camera and my backpack, 10 years later!
• That time you volunteered to slice lemons for a friend’s wedding and you sliced your finger instead, bad enough to require stitches?! You never touched a mandoline again, but I can't remember if you even ever attempted to slice lemons either! If life hands them to us, we eat them whole nowadays, it seems.
• You remember how you did not die, despite all your protests and refusal to advance, when I made you climb up to Timpanogos Cave (6700 feet) in Utah, nor to the end of the South Mountains Park trail in North Carolina?! I love when you just trust me ...
• That time we saw the black bears hang out in the trees off a trail in Georgia?! 
• That time when you fed the iguanas in Honduras? 
• That time we thought we bought a turkey breast and all we got was turkey nuggets in a bundle and we had a house (almost) full of people to feed for Christmas? Hmm... yeah - good times! 
• That time we were so excited to see Willie Nelson in concert and he walked off the stage and never returned?! 
• That time when we lobbied together in the halls of Congress in DC for FH Awareness (serious) and made fun of the Ben & Jerry's cow decal outside Senator Bernie Sanders' office (not so serious)?! And that is so you: a mix of stern elegance and casual comedian all rolled-up into one!
• That time when we had our first Thanksgiving dinner in our brand-new house in North Carolina with an unboxed, newly-delivered but uninstalled yet dishwasher in the middle of the dining room? 
• Our big trek in our camper, The Pup, across America?! Boy, how I want to do that again soon!
• That time when we judged the beers at the Athens Beer Festival in Ohio and actually felt like we knew what we were doing? I guess everyone thinks this after a few sips of craft beer?!

But much, much more than the many times we have spent together, I love the possibilities of what is coming ahead of us! There will be hard times but I am sure as I am of these two hands typing this that there will be good times too. I just pray for health and peace and strength and cannot wait to see the future. With you, hand in hand.

Whether we are climbing a mountain, shooting birds, making dinner, or buying a car, a house, or a camper, I know we’ll have a good time and live to tell the stories for whoever is there to listen. Even if it's just us, recollecting.

Whether I am mourning a friend, a parent, or a pet, or I am going through some near-death health scares, I know you’ll be there, stronger than the Rock of Gibraltar to support me.

I love you with all my stitched up heart. I would be lost, scared, confused and adrift without you.

Thanks for being you.

And thanks for being mine.  

Happy birthday, my love! Can't wait for the next 50+ years ...