I can't help but wonder sometimes what in the world is wrong with me?! Why certain things that used to be fun are all of a sudden cumbersome at best, if not downright annoying as all hell! Dates seem to be annoying races to show off and impress, and going out to bars is more disgusting and judgmental than anything else... I used to be : " my way or the highway, go f*ck yourself if you don't like it, bitch"- type of gal, now I am accommodating and give people a second, and a third and a fourth chance... I've also used to be a "kiss on first date, sleep on second ... ok, maybe third... " gal, and now I'm ... well, let's not go there!
I've become more critical over the years, and all of a sudden more circumspect... I hold a lot more tension in my shoulders, from just not letting go (and from asking way too many questions, out loud or not...) ... I think twice about everything and that sometimes is a waste of time, and certainly of fun, or so I think, sometimes... It feels like it ...
I can't keep up with the fashion anymore, since the fashion is more and more skin, less and less cloth, and I feel like my body's starting to feel the 31 years I've packed on it! I'm one of the luckier 31 year olds, if I may say so myself, but I feel every hour of every one of those years... And trust me, so does my graying hair and my speckled skin...So, I don't think more skin IS worth showing, really ... And thus, I "lose" to the youngsters that are showing it all...Oh, well ...
I s'ppose things have changed, and now I have to put on my 31 year old glasses and look at the world and try to integrate and mingle, and ... date ... in a new age (for me and for the world)... Of course, coming from the comfortable cradle of 8 years of being "hitched" is not helping my rusty motors, either...
But hey, don't let me bring you down, all right... The old age wisdom and accumulated experience and insight are there to be shared for anyone who cares enough to discover it ... I know, you're saying: "honey, that, in balance with more skin is LOSIINGGG!!!!" ... I know, so, move right along, please! Save your time, and mine, too ... I may be slow, and judgemental, but I still like myself that way, and at the end of the day, I am the only person on the planet I gotta please! And I am pleased with that! :-)
We still live in a speed-driven century and people don't have time for taking time to discover ... It's the "instant gratification" age, as a friend was calling it the other day ... We all want "one hour photos" and "same day deliveries"... Who has time for long chats or walks under the moon?! No time for that, chick! You give it all out on day one, OK, you got an extra day from me, if I decide you're worth another breath of my lungs, and if you don't deliver the goods then, you're out ...
And that's how I am still in the window, catching dust and still being looked on/at ... I love the circus before my eyes, however... It's better than any movie, and it's free! Some even pay for your drinks...:-)
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