To JC, who has taught me the meaning of life, forgiveness and the preciousness of every single breath, a year later …
“All of my dreams seem to fall by the side like a discarded thought or the day's fading light
but I know that if I could just see you tonight … forever
at times we may fall, like we all tend to do but I'll reach out and find that I've run into you
your strength is the power that carried me through … forever
Your kindness for weakness I never mistook, I worried you often,
yet you understood that life is so fleeting, these troubles won't last forever
inspired me truly you did from the start to not be afraid and to follow my heart
there's a piece of you with me they can't tear apart … forever
Forever I'll find you, forever we'll be
Forever your power and strength stays with me.” (Dropkick Murphy – Forever)
We carry our bodies through life, trying to not let the mind take over. And the mind, the control freak that it is, will. We can’t stop it, because we don’t see how treacherous this is. Until the very end.
Are we spirits with bodies? Or bodies with spirits? What’s left, in the end?! As much thought as we put into daily routines, we can’t think deeply enough to figure this one out – because this one is not a matter of thinking - the only thing that matters …
Only when you have literally watched something or someone leave this world, minute by long and painful minute, and seen their peace in facing the Big Unknown while taking a morsel of you with them, you get it! Then, you understand the true nature of people, and the true nature of what we perceive now as “being. This can’t be taught. This must be understood by each one of us, if ever.
The end will come, without asking us. The only bit we’re asked about is the now. And we can choose that, but, blinded by the ephemeral present, we have not the eternal in mind – the curse of the human nature. How can we be so sophisticated to know: that the now must be chosen with the forever in mind?! Requires such insight.
Time passes, empty and void, and every day will add up to the end, an empty string of nothings, governed by our fear of action. Don’t let it! Wait not another second, and act, but with the heart in mind, if you can.
Listen to the heart (not mind), and listen to what is important after these bodies of dust are gone. Just shush the mind long enough to listen to your being. It’ll whisper wisely.
If you remember one thing, make it this: make sure in your final hours you truly have little to regret because you were trying to be “too cautious”.
It’s not about safety, and not about trust. We’re not born in and through safety – that’s a truism. Who’s asking for our trust when they have us?! And would we give it, if asked?!
We all want insurance. We all want guarantees. But who can give you insurance on happiness?! Our fear chains us to a life of bondage – the bondage of the rational mind, which kills the soul, and with it, the happiness which should reside in it.
The biggest irony of us: passing, temporary beings that we are, we try to think in absolutes: we want someone to guarantee us everything for every action we perform. We’re so caught up in our smallness of fear that we forget that we’re on the most relative trip of all: our lives!