Thursday, February 26, 2009

Stress - A Moral Quandary...

I truly hate stress... I hate it because it has power like nothing else to just cling onto you, like fungus! You don't want it! You don't need it! You tell it to f... off, but it's there, and it's going to stay, no matter how much begging and shaking off you'll do. And not only does it cling, but it eats at you, like mold at a wall ... Just chips away at your body, and mind, and soul, and sanity!!

Ever since I can remember, random people, strangers, friends, people I don't care that much about, even, come and open up to me, usually, about their issues, and problems, and frustrations that they cannot share with so-and-so ... Mom and my sister say I am like the "mother of all wounded soldiers", always taking care of someone's jaded soul ... It's true ... And this used to be a source of pride. But I guess growing old does funny things to your patience level. All it is now, is a source of frustration!

Since you've been around the block a time or twelve now, that you're older, there is only so much you can take about this and that's more or less malicious gossip rather than their wounded selves' sob stories. Plus, I hate repetition, and all that - repeated day in and day out, for days, and months and years on end, heard from the same people over and over again, makes me want to scream!

Someone I admire dearly said to me the other week: "you can't give kindness if you don't accept kindness". I so agree with that! And I think it's the same way with stress: no matter how much you know about non-attachment, no matter how much yoga you do, how much Yoga Journal magazine and Patanjali you read every day ... if you don't associate yourself with people who understand these things just as much as you understand them, you'll never be free of stress, worry, negativity and just plain ... given-up-ness... and desperation ... All these things that people bring to you will cling onto you and eat at your self ... no matter how much you want and try to shake it off. Water can put out a fire, but the quantity of water has to be proportionate with that of the fire. And frankly, I am drying out!!

But I wish one would have a choice there, when the association with the wrong kind of people ... puts food on your table.

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