History, Friendship, Beauty … and so Much More …

To my friend T., whom I love and admire. She never knows where and when to stop. And sometimes that makes for the best memories ...

T. was the driver, so she'd ask, calmly: "What direction do you feel like it's right to go into?". I 'd say "to the left", on a whim of course. And we'll take it from there. Just like life, sometimes, it's a coin toss!

With GPS in hand, and maps, and with an experienced driver behind the wheel, we still got lost at times.

And so, when that happened, we kind of went by our gut feeling, and see where the road would take us next. This is my favorite kind of traveling. I am usually too chicken to try it on my own, though, so I was plenty grateful to have a partner there with me, to accompany me on “the roads less traveled”.

We had a very basic plan this past weekend, my friend T. and I. We were going to drive up to Charlottesville, VA, and visit three main landmarks: the UVA campus (for me), the Monticello Plantation and some wineries on the Virginia Wine Trail (for both). T. was in charge of the hotel and I was in charge of everything else: restaurants, places to visit, addresses to places, and the rest.

A trademark of Charlottesville: The Rotunda, at the University of Virginia

But as good friends go, they don't hold each other to an agreement. They let fate and a little bit of accident come into play, and follow only the hands of the clock, common sense and our own very insightful feminine guts to guide us on our trip. We would listen to the sound of our stomachs to plan for meals, and we would go to bed with the sun, when the day was over.

We started the trip with a detour. We’re on vacation, we kept telling ourselves, we don’t have schedules, or places we need to be in, so why the heck not detour. T. took me on top of this mountain where her family owned a farm when she was growing up. The place is poetic! It looks like a painting (thanks, Aa.), or a fairy-tale landscape (thanks, sis!). It’s eerily peaceful, surrounded like a mythological ring of majestic woods, with almost a perfect round pasture on top. Some of the land is now developed, but the beauty and tranquility of nature is still very much a presence! I can easily see how this is probably the place T. comes to, in her mind, when the storms of life take her away. It reminds me of my mountains. And I can understand mountain language, for sure: the timeless sky and woods, the quiet of the wind through the leaves, the bees in the honey, hot air. The memories of animals and people past!

Then, we were on our way to Charlottesville. More surprises came our way, when we found out our hotel was not on part of the GPS’s digitized map. And after finding it just by following street signs, we found out we have no wireless internet access, and we’d have to share a bed, after all. But we’re on vacation, you see, and we each weigh about 100 lbs each, so … a king bed is not an issue there! And my friend who lives, breathes, and eats on the internet, waved and said with a shrug: “There is probably a good reason why we don’t have wi-fi. God is trying to tell us something. So, that’s fine”. I was shocked, and happy!

Charlottesville surprised us first because of the great food finds. Some of these were the yummy turkey sandwich with Mornay sauce and bacon at West Main, the "Rapture" sushi roll at Rapture in The Mall, which came right next to fish and chips (how’s that for versatility?!) , the very affordable breakfast at The Nook, also in The Mall : The Nook - the place of the best priced loaded breakfast sandwich in the country, probably (only $3.95 for bacon, eggs and cheese on a roll) and also the place of the slowest waitress in the world, too!

The Rapture Sushi roll, at Rapture

You could easily get lost in the selection of wines at Siips - a wine and champagne bar. I tried to figure out what the name means, and just gave up saying it must just be the VA pronunciations of "sips".

Siips wine and champagne bar

Another good find in Charlottesville (although we knew about it from all the C-ville websites) was the Look3 Festival of Photography, which seemed to be taking over at least The Pedestrian Mall area! We didn't spend too much time looking at the exhibits, but you could not help but notice the masterpieces posted anywhere from walls to trees, to the open air screen of the huge amphitheater! It was a delight for the eyes!

A huge surprise for both of us was that Charlottesville resembles Asheville or Boone, NC in the amount of hippies it shelters! Sitting on the patio of Siips one night and people watching, we were shocked by the amount of tattooed skins and tie-dyes we saw! Not to mention beads, hemp skirts and bags, dreadlocks and the likes ... We both were expecting it to be a preppy, stuck up little town! Not so! We were reminded everywhere that youngsters will stay young and colorful will be their signature, even in one of the oldest and most traditional university campuses in the country! To me, this was very refreshing. Unexpected, but refreshing, too. But ... I am the hippy of the duo, so that’s my job …

On Mulberry Row, at Monticello

Another unexpected was that we spent almost a whole day at Monticello ! I had planned for us to see the plantation, and maybe a couple of wineries, too, that day. But once there, we were swallowed by the variety of things to do: documentary, museum, the tour of the gardens, the slave plantation, the kitchens, the house, the graveyard, and so forth. We spent almost a whole day there, loaded up on stories and history, so well worth it! I learned about the polygraph, about Jefferson's huge clock in the receiving room of the house, about his automatic doors, about the boots which back then were interchangeable, not made for one particular foot, about his alcove bed which just looks so ... claustrophobic. Also about Sally, the slave and maybe (most likely, by a 99.99% chance) concubine of The President, and Jupiter, his faithful slave, and all the others that have made history books along with Jefferson himself!

I felt overwhelmed by the severity of the facts that happened on those grounds, belittled by the grandeur of the historic times past. If only those walls could talk and tell us the real story! Or the hardwoods and maple trees on Mulberry Row! Or the silent and cold columns at The Rotunda in UVA. I felt once again blessed to be part of this country, and learn about the roots of its main cultures: that of freedom and of the pursuit of happiness. I cried when I realized once more I have seen my dream of freedom with my own eyes in the one nation in the world that taught it to the rest of the planet!

The home at Monticello

On the way back home, we had somewhere North of 15 wineries to choose from. I am not sure how we picked them, but I think it’s safe to say it was a mixture of planning and chance. We're both wine lovers, and faithful goers to the Smith Mountain Lake Wine Festival every year. To say the least, tasting wine is one of our favorite past times.

The search for good wine started with Kluge Winery from the Wine Trail map, and the road pretty much carried us on from there: Blenheim Vineyards was on the same road as Kluge - so chance brought us there. This ended up being my favorite, because of the Dutch barn and the all-wood-and-glass winery building. It was so airy and so open to the vistas below! The wine "coaches", I call them, were two hip and chatty gals, and we ended up having a great time there. Upon returning home, I also found out that Blenheim Vineyards has been in fact designed and is owned by Dave Matthews, as in from Dave Matthews' Band (thank you, Mary!). Now, that is such a lucky accidental find! I love Dave’s Band (not many people hate it), and now the bottle of rose will be extra special. Another interesting thing is all their wines come in screw top bottles. Now, some wine snobs out there will always tell you that's not a real wine, in a screw top, but I can tell you: these were some seriously good, and sophisticated wines! And the wine girls said that screw tops are actually better, for allowing a better air flow into the bottle - allowing it to breathe right. I don’t know all about that, but I am all for an easy to open bottle! Especially after a few glasses.

I liked Kluge for the very unique garden setting and for their interesting wine tasting flight. Although, I have to tell you: when all the wineries in the area ask for $5 for tasting, and they ask for $10.95, it makes you wonder if it's worth it. I guess the setting is!

First Colony boasted "pure wines", no blends of grapes. Also an adorable orange tabby named Fritz! Virginia Wineworks were a tad remote and somewhat scary, at first glance, but the host was welcoming and so incredibly generous with the tasting portions!

I loved the wine tour! It made me want to watch Sideways again (good friends in search of good wine!), and it reminded me of one of my midlife crisis dreams: to move to Napa and pour wine for a living. Seeing how much fun these folks are having just chatting and smelling grapes all day, it's very tempting! Most of the wines we had were dry, and we all know I am a sweet wine consumer. But I did pick up a couple of bottles: the above mentioned, smooth rose at Blenheim and "The Sweet Shanando" at First Colony.

In the unpredictable sort of vibe this trip was driven, we skipped visiting the Natural Bridge on Sunday night, and we stopped for lunch in Staunton (be careful not to mispronounce here!), instead. Here, I was treated to the best croissant sandwich ever! Usually, I am not picky what you put on a croissant: it's all good. But this one, at Byers St. Bistro , had roasted turkey, bacon and ... warm crab dip on it! Oh, my God, was it divine!! Staunton seemed sleepy. But maybe it was the Sunday siesta people were into.

OK, maybe Priceline lied about the wireless internet and the type of bed(s) we were going to get. And maybe the GPS was rusty at times, or just gave up on us winding around aimlessly, but the surprise factor made all the difference in this trip! The little “big” bonuses like the hippies, the lessons learned of what we can let go of and still be happy, and the Dave Matthews wine, the history lessons, and journey back into our own past, were what will make this trip unique!

We ended up not only with good memories, with a whole new city we have learned and are looking forward to be returning to, but also with new lessons about each other. We both discovered that when truly on vacation mode, we are less the driven women we usually are, and we can sleep in very comfortably late, and that we're both cheap when it comes to parking spaces! We also realized we can both survive on just two main meals a day when we travel! And we also re-affirmed the trust that we will always have each other, for trips, wine, girl talk or political gossip! All in all, it was a priceless weekend!

Thank you, Ms. T., and looking very much forward to the next adventure! You are a blessing and a treat!!! Love you, always!

Please visit The Wander World Picture Site for a complete set of pictures.

A Surprisingly Good Culinary Find

My relationship with tapas has been strange over the years. I love food! Anyone who knows me, or knows my family, knows I am all about food. I love textures, and smells, and “weird” stuff, and experimenting. But when I had tapas, a few times before, I have always been disappointed. You know: like finally meeting the movie star you dreamed of always marrying, but then you discover he farts over dinner, and writes “their” instead of “there” all the time! Just … pretty, and painfully disappointing at the same time.

So, every time someone suggests tapas to me, I cringe! I am going: “Great! Another place that sells grass and a mushroom with a squirt of ketchup for $10 a plate!”. I am always meeting that invite with “Thanks, but can we go to this burger joint instead, please?!”.

So, tapas have always been something I could easily pass up, until tonight. Thanks to a dear friend, I had some gift certificates to Rim Tapas, in downtown Greensboro. The place boasts to be also a wine bar, so I invited my wine friends to share the experience with me, and what an experience it was!

We all went in thinking the food will be insufficient and pretentious, and the wine overpriced and crappy. But we had a blast! A blast of a time, and a blast of flavor in our mouths, as well!

We took advantage of the “two for $10 by 6:30PM” special, and we ordered 4 appetizers for just $20. Our orders were: Savannah Crab and Artichoke Dip with Pecorino, NC Mountain Trout With Blue Corn Crust, Soy Ginger Chicken and Sweet Chili Shrimp on Crispy Peanut Noodle Cake. We also split a bottle of German Riesling, which is usually our wine of choice: a “lighter style white”, as it’s listed in the menu.

Everything was amazing! Every dish had a sophistication and a richness about it that is hard to explain! Every dish had more than one texture, and more than one flavor: soft, and gooey, and sweet and spicy and tart all mixed into one bite!

I felt like my mouth was traveling from the NC mountains to Japan, and China, Thailand, and through Mexico in-between … with a stop in the Louisiana swamps. And the sizes of these tapas were not your usual “two leaves and a mushroom” fair, either. They were decent size appetizers, to say the least! The trout was almost an inch thick fillet, with a whole fried egg on top of. The dip was in an honest-to-God dip dish, not some ramekin pulled out from Lilliput! Surrounded by a couple of handfuls of chips – not some kind on miniature nuggets!

We declared in the end than a couple of appetizers per person with a glass of wine once in a while might just be what the doctor ordered for unwinding after a long day.


And I didn’t say anything about the owners’ hospitality skills, but they were great! Not bothersome, and you got just enough attention to feel like they wanted you there, and they wanted you happy. The wait staff was still rusty, but I’ll be forgiving, and allow them time … to grow! But, honestly, who needs a friendly waitress, when you’ve got an artist and a taste demigod for a chef?!

It was truly a unique and very rewarding experience! I will not sneeze at tapas anymore, and that’s a promise! I will just pick them more carefully from now on. But I do know that Rim (under new management!) is one place I will be returning to! If not for the tapas (try to twist my arm), then for being the only restaurant in Greensboro that I know of that has Moscato on their wine list! Sure, it’s $14 for half of a bottle, but you can never pay too much for The Nectar of The Gods, can you?! And every once in a while a gal is entitled to some nectar!

Unwanted Party, Part II

With pictures this time …

As much as I hate heat, typically (I know, I live in the wrong state!), I hate a rainy summer more! I hate it when you want to hike or walk in the park, shoot butterflies and hibiscus plants, but you get a 50% chance of rain every single day of the week. And after a couple of weeks of this forecast being accurate, you pretty much give up: it’s in the forecast, you get the picture and tuck in for the night! It gets old!

Anyway, this is the type of summer we seem to be having so far. Quite the opposite of the one last year, when everything was dry, and draughty! And we could not even water our plants, because of the water shortage!

This year, my plants would look great, if it were not for all the slugs rain brings with it which eat them! I swear these gross (and to me totally useless) creatures must be made of water! The minute it rains, my patio is again full of them. The more it rains (like the recent flood we had only yesterday in Greensboro), the bigger and fatter and grosser they are!

For the curious folks before, who asked for pictures,
this is my latest visitor, in actual size. It was about twice as
thick as my pinkie. And, yes: that's a baby! Got chills? I do!

And yes, salt works (thanks C., and mom!), but rain washes off the salt! So, they’re … back!!! And I am about tired of the slimey visitors and their traces - left, right, up and down and every direction imaginable in the front of my home, and tired of looking at the puny looking pansies in the planters!

So, we’re going to plan B this weekend: time for a different plant, other than pansies! Anything in purple will do! We’ll experience another pest, I am sure, but at least the new one maybe won’t leave mucus traces all over the patio!

If they are indeed made of water, and more rain will make more of these things … maybe they’ll show up where they won’t have anything yummy to eat, like purple pansies! Maybe on someone else’s patio that provides that meal. There is no sin in hoping, anyway!

A Feel Good Weekend

I didn’t particularly help any major causes this weekend, didn’t write checks for charity, or sick kids, or saved the world in any big fashion, but somehow, I have this “feel good” feeling about me. Of accomplishment, or something similar.

It’s been a busy weekend, for sure, with a little bit of everything here and there. I guess just the fact that I accomplished most of what I planned to do can yield a “good feeling” vibe to the end of this Sunday.

The weekend started with a dinner with friends, at Grey’s Tavern in downtown Greensboro. I love the place first and foremost because everything is so affordable there. Also, everything they make has just enough of a twist to make it interesting, and unique, and yet, it’s the same ol’ good American fare, of burgers, dogs, sliders, and other sammiches. I was really boring on Friday, because all I ordered was a Tavern Dog. But trust me: this is no regular dog. I am not sure what brand it is, or what composition, but it is just the most “right” balance of flavor and sweetness and texture I have ever found in a hotdog. Their kraut is yummy too: not too wet, and not too salty, as some places have it.

On Saturday, I had an early morning, as I went to walk for the Heart Walk, at Country Park. It’s a walk I enjoy doing, and an organization I support, just because it’s close to my … heart. Pun not intended.

On Saturday afternoon, I volunteered to work again with The Greensboro Jaycees, at the NC Wine Festival, at the Tanglewood Park, in Clemmons. I had planned to get there at least 45 minutes before my shift started, so I can walk around, taste some of the great NC wine and possibly leave the place with a new found treasure of a bottle of wine. But the popularity of this festival, as well as the incredible weather had other plans for me: I got there 15 minutes later than my shift, because the traffic to get into Tanglewood was horrendous, so I was in the trenches right off the bat!

Although it was work-work-work for my stint there, I still enjoyed to festival, people watching, and contributing to this great event, which seems to grow in popularity from one year to the next. The free entrance was much welcome, too. And just contributing a bit to an industry I so love, and support, every chance I get was great.

Sunday was preparing for The Book Club. This month, I got to pick the book (“The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch) and I also hosted. Since the temperatures are getting up there, I was craving a summery meal, so I made chicken and shrimp kebabs, with fresh pineapple, grape tomatoes, peppers and onions, accompanied by my first ever (and French inspired) couscous salad, which didn’t turn out too shabby, if I so say myself, and some other finger foods, and fruits, as well. To drink, we had mimosas and wine. I always enjoy the club, for the company, and the chats, which revolve around books, movies, work, life, you name it.

Now, it’s time for some brainless TV time, and catching up on the news, I guess… The weekend was busy, as I was saying. But good busy, and as always, I am so glad and grateful for all the friends I shared this weekend with.

One good laugh I got out of this weekend was at the Pickup Tent at Tanglewood: people label their purchases with their names and phone numbers, and they send them to this tent, to pick them up on their way out, so they won’t haul 10 bottles at a time through the wine festival. One of the names on several bottles was written in bright bluish – purple Sharpie ink, very carefully, and very clear (despite other hand writings, which I had some challenge to decipher), in all its hyphenated splendor! The last name was “Wooden - Cock”. I had enough questions for that person to fill up a novel! But I will leave you with your own, which I am sure will be plenty. The person never did pick up their wine while I was there, but I surely would have been intrigued to meet them. Some people just can't give up some things, can they? Like at least one name, for instance. Hhmm...

I am so sad Jay Leno’s off the air! He would have had a ball with this, I am sure!

Happy summer, all! And stay cool!

Unwanted Party

Note: major grossness alert

If it's true what they say in some cultures (Romanian included) that in the next life you'll get to consume (as in "eat") what you kill during the current life span, then I will be probably "feasting" on lots of mosquitoes, spiders, a handful of ants, and starting today, on slugs, as well.

This year, instead of hydrangeas and petunias, I decided to plant the hardiest, easiest to take care of flowers there are on my front porch: pansies. I figured, they're budget friendly, and purple, and nothing can kill them. Well, I didn't know slugs love them for their breakfast, and lunch, AND dinner!

So, in a matter of weeks, my two oversized planters of pansies, have been reduced to nothing, because the blooms have disappeared under my own eyes, just devoured by the little yucky creatures!

I knew from my mom that salt makes them melt. Literally. But I didn't want to put salt on the flowers, for fear that might kill them. So, I asked around and a friend of mine advised to put a tray full of beer around the pots, they'll go to the beer tray and drown. Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?!

And it's true: they surely go towards the beer. The entire neighborhood of slugs found out about the beer tray and apparently wanted to join the party! So, when I came home today, I find a whole colony, a whole carpet of slugs, if you will, strolling towards the beer trays! Oh, my God! I have not seen that many slugs in my whole life. There must have been about 50 drowned and about another 50 around the trays, on their way over to the ... drowning.

So, salt was next! And of course, the scientist mom has always been, she was right: they melt like nothing. So, now, I have two trays full of beer and dead slugs and one porch covered with salty dead piles of slugs as well.

The sight is frightful (not to mention disgusting as all) and I think I will have nightmares all night of being eaten alive by giant slugs. Or eating them. In my next life. Either way, it's making my skin crawl!

I tell you, God had really some awesome creative moments when He created Life on Earth as we know it, but He was really having a bad day when He created slugs!

I will definitely not look at beer the same way ever again. That's for darn sure! And next time: I'll get petunias! I can at least spray for bugs on those!
Eew!

Forever Grateful for Friends

I think I am one of the very few folks out there who is happy when her friends move away. I am happy because I now have even more reasons to get out of town! Sure, you can say I am the same ol’ selfish woman you knew – it would be fair!

But, let me explain: when your friends move, you get the best of all worlds: you still keep the love, and trust me, if you really put your mind to it, long distance relationships DO work! So, you don’t “lose” them at all. Your relationship just changes … interaction. Then, you get to pull away from your routine once in a while, when you get to take the weekend off and go visit them; you get to disconnect from your boring life, and re-energize (how grateful do you need to be for THAT?!?) ; and you get pretty much free lodging and sometimes food when you go, too. What’s not to love?!

This year, I had two mantras to live by: stay in touch better with friends, close and far, and go places you’ve never been before. Thanks to friends who have moved places I have never been before, it looks like this is going to be an easy one!

This past weekend, I went to visit some friends who moved to Lexington, SC, just outside of Columbia. I have been to Lexington before, but not to this part of it: I didn’t know any part of SC can be so lush green and gorgeous! I have never been to Columbia, but I am planning to go back this year, to see that city also – I only hear good things about it. I am also planning to be on Lake Murray this summer, at some point, also courtesy of my said friends! I hope!

It’s always a pleasure to visit with my SC friends (who used to be NC friends). They are a gregarious bunch of folks, who always welcome you with open arms, always overflowing fridges, open minds, wisdom, poignant criticism and lots, and lots of unconditional love. The chats are easy and genuine, the love is sincere, and the giving is abounding! There is always a familiarity to see them, and a feeling of not being alone that is known to me only when I see family. They gave me a backyard bbq party, two restaurant meals, an office chair to take home (free!) , and a birthday gift, a month and a half after my birthday! It was like seeing mom, dad and having Christmas all over again!

I could have stayed on that screened in porch and talked about past, and future, and catch up on people we know till Labor Day, if I’d had my rathers! I didn’t mind the humidity, nor the mosquitoes that somehow got through the screen anyway, nor the heavy eyelids of a body tired from driving in the rain for three hours! It was so refreshing to meet the like-minded folks I once knew and still hold close! It was so refreshing to know, one more time, that I am “home”.

The moments spent with your friends are priceless! They are crystallized in time, and forever engrained in your brain. Those moments, I am sure, you take with you, in your heart, when you slip into "forever". They give you dimension in space, and teach you who you are. And on lonely nights, when you think you’re alone in the world, they give you something to feed off of, and something to dwell on: a family, and sense of belonging. We should really be more grateful to friends than we sometimes make time for!

I thank them now, as I always have, for just … existing. And making me a part of their world, about seven years ago. And never budging from that commitment. Yet. Family has no choice: they have to have you. But friends don’t have to. They do have a choice, and these folks made a choice to “have me” despite the changes in their lives, and mine.

I am grateful for the “things”, sure, and the “free trips”. But mostly, I am grateful for the love, and respect, the steadfastness with which they've loved me, and welcoming that they display, year after year, visit after visit, unmoved by the changes of time, and life.

They have married a son, and had two grandkids; they have retired and moved away. Their dog got old and slow. But they have always been the same to me: loving, giving and accepting! They humble me! And I love them.

One of my favorite pieces in their lush, perfectly manicured
gardens was a deep purple calla lily.

Thank You, Randy Pausch

And when I thought my week could not get any worse… I am actually being facetious: life can ALWAYS get worse.

Anyway, next time I complain about long hours and bad hair days, I’ll know what’s coming. Or at least I know what this week has brought.

Today, I go do my biweekly grocery run, and I get into a crash. A car crash, that is. I was due for one, I figured, since my small Echo has been hit more times, and regularly, but has been “on an accident break” since 2007, I think. I swear this car is an accident magnet! People hit it when it’s parked, and I am not even in it.

Anyway, so, on a gray, pouring outside kind of day, one of those days when you don’t feel in the least bit guilty for eating a loaded pizza all on your own, I get out of the said grocery store parking lot, and a lady on the opposite side of my space has the same plan: to get out too. I was all the way pulled out of my spot, and ready to straighten my wheel when she backs out of her spot, full force. And hits me.

We both got scratches on our back bumpers. She has a smaller scratch, I have a bigger one, as it always happens when my Echo and a bigger (Acura) car hit each other.

We looked at the damage. We both realized it’s not worth calling anyone, or getting the insurance involved; we exchanged phone numbers and license numbers, and … we’ll see how and if we’re going to fix this… Yes, I did say “if”.

Usually, when I get into one of these, no matter how small the damage, I am completely compulsive about getting it fixed right away, to make my car look as good as new. For some reason, this time (and I “blame” Randy Pausch for this), I am fine with a scratch on my bumper, be it however monstrous looking (it’s pretty tacky!). This one time, I am really letting go of my control over “everything has to look just perfect or else I can’t sleep at night”, and just put this on hold for a bit.

I have trips to plan, work to do, life to live. The car works fine. The trunk is not damaged at all. Most importantly, I and the lady in the other car are FINE. She even admitted that it was her fault, but I don’t even think that. It was a complete accident, on both of our parts. I also think a can of paint will do the fix-up! So, no fretting at all.

This first time, I don’t really care whether I fix it today, this week or in the next year. As it happens, bumpers are not made of metal anymore, so it won’t even rust. Sure, it looks ugly, but I have decided that my car is not a mirror of who I am, after all. So, I will let go, and I am actually breathing easier because this one burden is off my shoulders.

Now, I know that a car’s purpose is to “get you from point A to point B. They are utilitarian devices, not expressions of social status”, as Pausch says it in Chapter 18 of his “The Last Lecture” book. And he continues: “… if your trashcan or wheelbarrow has a dent in it, you don’t buy a new one. Maybe that’s because we don’t use trashcans and wheelbarrows to communicate our social status or identity to others. (…) Not everything needs to be fixed.”

I love that lesson! He is so right. We get so wrapped up in the fact that our lives are not oh, just so perfect on the outside, we so hold on, teeth grinding, to our appearances, our pants are not razor-sharp, and our cars don’t have a bigger monthly payment than our homes.

And we miss the stuff that makes life real! We miss the “little” things, like the fact that we have a job to go to at all to spend long hours in; the fact that we can afford a car at all; the fact that we’re lucky to go from point A to point B without waiting for half an hour for the bus, or the train in the rain; the fact that we’re walking on our two feet, and moving right along from day to day, without having to wait for others to give us a ride.

So, this one time, I will just shrug, smile, and be grateful for what I do have. And the scratch can wait. And as I have said it before, and as I know this might just jinx me even worse: I am grateful for the band aids, some days. And for good books!

A Girl's Gotta Be Shallow ... Sometimes ...

(Or "Guilty Confessions")


So, I have had a crappy, long week. Too long!

Not particularly dramatic, but just little bugs here and there, biting at you, at your mood, and chipping away at your zeal. If I ever had any, to begin with, that is.

Work was horrible. It always is, but for grace and political reasons, I can't say much about that. Pretty soon this "lucky to have a job" high is going to stoop, and the simple unhappiness of it all is going to take over. Maybe. We're humans, after all, aren't we?!

Then, little bits of "situations" cropped up here and there. Humidity crept in all week long, making for bad hair days, sticky shirts and lots and lots of cranky time. Then, a day off for everyone but not for me (someone had to cover some shifts) set the tone of the week to "bitter". Then, I have to work this weekend. Blah ...

More news about friends being laid off - always bad. More news from home about family feuds, dramas, disloyalty, and quarrels. Asked for advice, but hesitant to give any: after all, who wants to have the responsibility of all that?? Then, relatives traveling over the Atlantic, and being unnecessarily "persecuted" in Germany, and then England, and then Canada. Oh, the curse of ever being an immigrant to the Western World! Sleepless nights, till I found out everyone was OK.

Then, Friday comes, and I was looking forward to dinner with friends, and a cold brew, and some relache time. Think again: 4:30PM strikes, and bugs start to crop up at work, and although I was planning to leave the premises at 5 PM, I had to stay till 6:30. Almost. My dinner with friends was at 6:30. When I left, I discovered my cell went dead, looking for signal in my bunker office. Cripes! Now, I had to go home, because I am on call this weekend, and tonight, and I cannot be away from a working phone. There goes my looking-forward-to dinner on Friday night.

So, I get home, all shaking from the last minute adrenaline rush from work, and letting my friends know that I will not be attending our get-together ... and I was seriously looking for SOMETHING - ANYTHING to make me feel disgustingly better! Something cheesy, and cheap, that required zero thought and zero brain involvement, and so embarrassing, and lame that will make me feel like I am refueling again! So, I reached out for my all-day-girl therapy, "Sex and the City" - I didn't care what season, I just wanted girl talk! So, I pulled out season 3 and started my marathon!

I accompanied that with fresh air (make that "Southern humid air", but still more alive than the fake a/c) from the outside , crickets chirping, lots of beef jerky snacks, while my taquitos were "baking" (err... de-freezing in the oven), and my mashed potatoes were heating up in the microwave.

All those snacks, fresh air, "sexy girl talk" episodes, and a beer later and it seems like the pressure of the week might be slightly releasing off of my bones. I EVEN did the unthinkable and had ONE square of milk chocolate I bought in Paris - I figured, let's see if it's true that chocolate takes away ALL the pressure of the world off of a girl's back. I don't think it did much for me! But it didn't ruin the mood, for sure. Hey, when a girl's desperate, she's got to do what she's got to do, right?!

I wish I could tell the world that I came home and went for a long walk, or did two hours of yoga and meditated for half of an hour and found enlightenment, or ... watched an inspiring documentary about Mother Teresa's resilience. But no, I ate my comfort food (mashed potatoes and beef jerky), I heated up some junk food (Mexican taquitos), and I watched a cheesy girl show (thank you, FOREVER, Andy!!), and I had a cheap-cheap American beer, and YES, I feel better!

I allowed myself to stoop THAT low, and come in touch with my cheesy self! After all, the brain needs some literal time off, once in a while, too. Like anything human, it's not made to last forever, and it needs a cold reboot.

Sheesh! I am still not done with this week, but I feel like I might have found another couple of gallons of fuel to feed me for the next two days!

That you, cheesiness, for being available.

A Gastronomic Heritage

I do believe there is something about old ladies and tomatoes. Some sort of craving-affinity-love for tomatoes which "regular" folk just don't get. At least that's been my life: there is always, at some corner of my life a little ol' lady making conversation for minutes on end about some juicy tomato waiting on her when she gets home, to make it into a sandwich. And it's traveled with me across cultures, this tomato thing.


I grew up hating tomatoes. As a matter of fact, I was a terrible eater as a child. I'd fuss at pretty much everything: milk products, fruits, veggies or anything that contained them, sweets. My favorite foods were beans and bologna. That was it! Oh, and stuffed peppers. I was blessed with a mother that didn't fret too much about my eating disgusts. Her motto is: "You're not eating, it's your stomach that is empty. *shrug*". (very "insightful", eh?!) So, she didn't bother insist.


So, having all the freedom I wanted, I hated tomatoes along with all the other fruits and veggies there were. Until one summer.


We used to live in the mountains in the summer, when we were little - that is the subject of a whole anthology, for a later date. We used to live in houses with small quarters, share rooms with a lot of folks, and with electricity, but no bathrooms or any plumbing inside. People were self-sufficient, there: had animals, birds, land - to provide their own food daily. We just had to work for it. We ate what we grew or picked in the woods.


In the mountains, we used to live with my dad's godparents. These folks were so wonderful, in every which way, they sound like fairy tale people! Best marriage I have ever seen, older people, with their children grown, moved out and having kids of their own, with the patience of saints, and wisdom of sages!


I called his godmother "bica", which means "grandma" in Romanian. She was not really my grandma, but I have been ever so lucky to have several sets of family in my life.


"Bica" was not mom. She did fret about my not eating. A lot. She used to feed us fresh cheese and slices of tomato, with freshly baked bread every morning. For seven days straight, that's what you'd get for breakfast! Maybe you'd get some eggs, on weekends. Maybe, if it was not too hot to make a fire in the wood stove and cook them. It was usually: tomatoes and cheese for breakfast. I hated both. So, she let me be, for a day, two, a week. Maybe even a summer.


The following summer, she discovered I did not grow out of it. So, she sat next to me, and said: "I am not leaving here, until you eat every bit of tomato and cheese I put on your plate. Trust me: if something happens to you, I have enough money saved up, and I'll pay for you back to your dad. He won't fuss if something horrible does happen to you. So, eat up!". Somehow, in my 6 or 7 year old mind that ALL made sense.


Just like today, someone promises us "insurance" and it all makes us feel so much better (even if the car will still be totaled or the house burned down), I somehow knew that if she promises to pay for the whole me this really won't do any major harm! And she was right. Nothing ever did happen to me. And another beautiful thing that came out of it is that I have loved tomatoes ever since that very day. Still not a fan of cheese, but a 50% chance of a win, is a good deal! I think.


To this day, I buy tomatoes (a lot of them) in April - May. When the winter time is over and gorging on comfort food just because it's cold passes, and I want something light, healthy, guilt-free, yet rich and delish, I turn to tomatoes. I still eat them with a bit of salt and a drop of oil on them, just like she taught me to, and I think of my "bica" every time. I even cut them like her, holding them in my hand, rarely using a cutting board, all uneven slices, all various shapes. And she probably is smiling down on me, proud of her success, and that she didn't have to blow her savings on my account.

The whole thing now is a ritual that takes me back and makes me appreciate the simple foods, and simple gestures. We were not blood relatives, but it was important to her to do the right thing in this world, and teach a child to appreciate all that Earth has to give. She did it simply. I wish we found more people who would take the time to do simple and major things for those to come after us anymore.

Happy birthday, “bica”, wherever you are … and love, always …

What I Have Learned in Airports

These are some random notes, and thoughts I have gathered on my last trip on the wings of many planes (eight, to be exact). My emphasis is on "random" here. But anyone who's ever waited for a plane in long, endless hours will agree that your mind is going, and you notice all these things. It's an avalanche of thoughts ... and ... I am sure you can relate to most of these.

I swear that one day someone needs to write a compendium about what people learn in airports. We are all becoming so much more savvy and knowledgeable about what to do in the "oh, sh^t", time-limit situations airports force us to live in. That, and also we're experts in knowing human nature now. But let's see why ...

First off, I have learned that the meaning of such expressions as "short temper", "little patience" and "hot blooded" become absolute superlatives or absolute relatives in airports. You think you have a short temper, usually: in the airports it's at least half of what you think it is! Maybe 10% is more accurate ... This, I think, is the most amusing (and sad) find. Because airports and especially planes are some places we, as individuals, have zero control over. I am pretty sure that even if you were a pilot, you would have no control over when you take off. But still, people don't get it. And they yell, scream, threaten to sue, and the likes, when delays and cancellations happen.

And since we're speaking of delays and cancellations. I have seen planes being delayed for many random reasons. Some of them legitimate, some of them ... make you wonder: snow, rain, thunder, pilot is drunk, or not present at all, ice removing mechanism faulty in 100+ degree weather. But "wind" is a new thing for me. I have always thought (and I mean, I could have bet my life on it) that at hundreds of miles per hour speeds (not tens) that the airplane is capable of reaching, and when they make planes able to fly into hurricanes (???), wind (especially the one not mentioned to be a problem by meteorologists, like a tornado or something) is not an issue for planes. Hhmm... think again! So, yes, my whole trip was almost all messed up, all planes missed because my first plane (out of four) was being delayed by two hours because of winds. In a perfectly beautiful 75F, cloudless day.

And about those folks whose tempers are ever so short in airports: why are they louder than necessary? I mean, who cares, first of all, if they're mad? If someone did care, they would put them on a plane. But no, they're still here. And they scream, throw tantrums, while 50 other people are in the same boat, and guess what: that plane is still not moving. Conserve your energy, folks! Turning up the volume will do nothing but annoy whomever is concerned (is there anyone??) even more.

Also, these little angry people need to stop using "important" words, that mean nothing, but they do it for effect, to make sure they conveyed to all how mad they truly are. For instance, if you say " I'm gonna go there and literally smack that damn captain if we're not leaving. Literally." - I want to see you marching down to the cockpit and doing it, 'cause guess what: we're not leaving. Otherwise, hold off the "literally". Please.

I have asked myself many times, and still have not come up with an answer: why do they call it "cockpit". Hhmmm... I'll leave you with that one, on your own.

One other thing I have learned: it pays to be ridiculously early at the airport! Sure, your flight will be delayed, because ... who knows, The Phillies lost another game that day, right??, but ... you can get on flights delayed from earlier that might be empty! You're a step ahead of them! They think they can delay you further: guess what: you're there for their delayed flights. Not your own, but who cares: they fly you to the same spot! You win! All my life I have thought the ONLY way to succeed in life is to figure out how to trick life faster than it will trick you. 'Cause it will!

I have raved about the Paris airport before but one thing I didn't mention was: in Paris, they have free scotch (as in "whiskey") tasting in the airport! Yep. In one of their liquor stores, they have a huge table with all sorts of brands of scotch you can taste before you buy. What I have to say to that is: eat your heart out, open container law in the groceries of US! But ... "no pictures, 's'il vous plait", so I could not prove it.

I probably should write a whole chapter on this, but I'll just mention a couple of things: this should be under "Things only Romanians Do in Airports": they sit cross-legged on the floor, and eat sunflower seeds, while spitting the shells on a newspaper; they also listen to Gypsy music on their cellphones, with no headphones on, so everyone shares the joy ... err... dread ... of it ... ; or, sometimes they have a real life - like rooster singing "cock-a-doodle-doo" for their ring tone, which makes you wonder: who is bringing dinner alive on the plane. (?!?!?).
There is always a mixed feeling of embarrassment and of a certain familiarity when I run into my compatriots in airports, a familiarity that is sort of comforting, strangely enough.
Don't ask!!

What you also see in airports is people waiting. Such an overwhelming mass of them! I have always wondered what can humanity accomplish, if they can bottle up all the hours all the people spend waiting, between flights, in airports and use them for a project, somewhere... Could we discover another planet? A cure for a cancer or two, or ...?? Just time. Wasted. Material time, and material human force, talent and probably genius. On hold. For virtually ever. Just wondering ...

I have also now seen live music in airports: a cover band playing anything from 'I will survive' to Jimmy Buffett in the National terminal in Philly. My plane was on time, but ask a few folks that were about 24 hours late on going home what the live music did for their stress level. I would kill to know the answer.

You have probably seen my rant about water penury in airports before, but now I had to splurge, as I was craving really cool and really good (filtered) water: so I paid $3 for a bottle of water and $2 for a large order of fries! When water is more expensive than food, I reckon you know you've made it to ... civilization... ?! Again: think "Idiocracy" , the movie.

And still the number one "wow" of this past trip is just noticing impatience. Just people fretting, screaming, jumping up and down, cursing, for the very thing they can do nothing about: leaving the airport NOW! When will the supply of crappy service align with the (hopefully) very lesser expectations of the passengers, in this Post 9-11, "Brave New World" of flying ... I am not sure...

But pretty soon people will stop flying. Or some folks will start shooting. And I am not sure which one will come sooner. And I am not joking, either.

Where I Come From

Since I come from a far away land, a lot of people ask me “what is it like where you come from?”. That is a broader question that one can attempt to answer in a lifetime, and when you’re dealing with your familiar, it’s impossible to answer. Of course, folks here, especially those who have never been out of the country, cannot tell me what it’s like to be from “here”; all they have to tell me is “look around”. So I can never get any hints on what it is I am supposed to say to describe the world I come from …

I know it’s different than the one I live in here. I know, most times, why. But it’s hard to put into words.

I am sure one can google or wiki my home town and find out its location, its history, how old, how vast, how populated … That it used to be the capital city of the province of Moldova back when Romania didn’t exist; that one of the most famous and esteemed princes, Stefan cel Mare (later sanctified), had his residency in the castle built on the same foundation of now The Palace of Culture, back in the 15^th century; that we have 13th, 14th and 15th century churches and monasteries, and buildings still standing; that we host the first printing press in Moldova that printed Romanian materials; that we have the oldest university in Romania (1860), the one I attended: Al. I. Cuza – and so forth…

But I am here to tell you about what I think about my home town. About what leaves with me every time I get on that plane, crying a river, filled with guilt, remorse, sadness and also pride, in a sick and very lonely way.

There are some things I always make a point of seeing when I get home. I do want to take a sightseeing trip around town, be it on foot (my favorite) or in a car, to see what’s new. I notice new buildings, streets that are wider, even gas stations and convenience stores that were never there before.

I try to see places that bring back memories. For instance, on some trips, I love visiting the grave yard. Not because my grandparents and other relatives are there, but because that’s the first place that ever gave me the depth and perspective of life, human condition, and eternity. That’s where I learned first where we’re all headed. It gave me purpose, and scope. I didn’t get to see it this time around, though.

Other places are streets we once lived on; or schools I attended. That, somehow, connects to where my life’s been – it gives me an itinerary to understand how I turned up this way, by “connecting the dots” of what was. I look at the blocks of crumbling concrete flats and remember the cold winters, where we slept with the coats on, or the hot summers, with no a/c, nor fans, where we would leave the water in the bathroom running, to cool off the dry, hot air; or dress the windows in bed sheets, so the sun won’t come in. I think of the close quarters we shared, and which never bothered us – and compare those with the three bedrooms I have now, for just me!

I notice the architecture, however old, or new, or crumbling... Did I notice it when I was there? Probably not. But now, it leaves with me. Every street corner is another dent in my brain - never to be erased. It's amazing what you do see, when you do want to see it. Pressured by limited time and craving belonging-ness, you open your eyes wider! And your heart ever more so ...

My sister and I in front of our elementary school

Al. I. Cuza University - my Alma Mater

I can tell you that I also go home to watch the physical love affair that people have with the food they make. It’s literally like love making: so attentive, and detailed, and sensual: there, it’s a big touching party! You touch everything. You knead, and wash, and clean, and soak up in aromas, and … You feel the food, before it enters your mouth. You clean the animal, you portion it, you think about what to cook now, what you can freeze, and you never once squint that “eew, that’s blood”, and “eew, that’s teeth”… We work with it all. With respect. And love. And patience. Much patience. We try not to waste much in our food. We use it all. My friend will tell you all about it. Just ask him how I eat a Boston Market chicken.

Laborious deliciousness: making stuffed grape leaves and cabbage rolls

Back home, people are always merry. Times have been tough and even tougher than now ever since I can remember. But if there is one thing that stays with me is that Romanians know how to party. For better, or worse, they find time, and food and drinks to gather up, and share the happiness or sorrow that bonds them. I find that Americans are more inclined to withdraw in their shells, and communicate less in times of sadness. Or party with everyone, but not really with the ones that matter, when they’re happy. Romanians stay close to family, close and distant, and gather up for chow and drinking for better or worse. You’re truly free to be whoever you are amongst those folks: after all, they’re truly your folk. Nothing to hide there. There is always forgiveness if you do happen to mess up! The sense of “blood community” strikes me back home, and gives me new juices to go on for another year: after all, I belong, somewhere in the world.

There is always a reason to celebrate and something
to make a spread out of, at my parents' house

I like revisiting places like my favorite city park, with wide alleyways and wooden benches. I like remembering first kisses, and love quarrels in those parks. I like seeing places where I grew up, or where I remember I had a favorite ice cream, back when I liked that, and where my grandfather used to take me when I skipped preschool!

I love going back for the pizza – the best I have had yet, without having been to Italy, let’s say! I love the street food, fresh, warm pastries that are welcome no matter how full you are: you cannot survive the smell alone – you MUST buy a couple of samples! Food is, again, part of your day, who you are, your routine. It smears the soul with good oils!

And of course, I go for my family. I go for the hugs that really mean something, and for the kisses that are sweeter that lovers’ ones. I go for their advice, and sometimes, I love going back for a good scolding, too! My dad usually criticizes everything I wear: I am either a hippy, or a bum, to him. Mom cries a lot. Cries for my bad luck with men, and my being alone, always … She doesn’t know that I take that as a scolding: that I cannot do any better than “this”. But mostly, I go for their spreads, and smiles. They’re loaded with love and honesty. And meaning! They always make my favorite foods, and display my favorite silverware, sheets, home décor, what have you. They’re the best! Their eyes full or tears, with “I’m going to miss you lots” written all over them travel with me for another two years! I even go for those eyes! To remember them, and know that they’re waiting for me – no matter what. They’re my safe shore!

So, I guess, in short, I come from a place of mixed architecture, that travels time-wise anywhere from the 13^th century to the 21^st; I come from a place of old churches and old schools. A place of chatty, happy people, and love, lots of it. I come from where the bread is always fresh and warm, and the wine is always sweet. A place of vast spreads, and poor but giving people.

Crumbling history ...

Iasi, my home town, is a city surrounded by seven hills. I come, thus, from a protected space. We were deemed as provincial “Moldovans” (which was an insult), but we felt safe, and proud. We had our history. How in the world I escaped this protected space, it’s still a mystery to me. And to this day, I long for that protection, in some form, every minute.

Home is where your bread is plenty ...

For more glimpses of what it’s like to go back home, visit the Wander World’s Photo Album, and enjoy!

Little Man, Big Year

I know that some of you remember that a year ago I was wrapped up in the emotion, and the awe of having my first nephew born into the world. He came early. More than two months early, which gave us all a big scare.

As convincingly and stubbornly (a true Taurus, already?!) as he wanted to come into this world on his own terms, he has lived this year, also. As I also mentioned before, he went home way early from the maternity, only about three weeks after his birth, despite doctors’ predictions that he would be there to his full term, which meant almost two more months.

He showed us all that he was ready for life: he could do in seven months what others can do in nine. He breathed and learned to feed on his own sooner than expected. And fed he did. Around the clock and then some. He grew up fast, and grew up healthy. They tell you babies will run a fever after each routine shot. Growing up in a Canadian winter, he has almost never run a fever (until he got a stomach virus in a foreign land). By month three, he was the same size as babies born to term at that month. And he stayed caught up.

He’s taken on every challenge that life, and we, his family, have thrown at him with bravery and guts. And like a true little Romanian, with gusto, also. He was baptized just like every other “normal” baby, at three months old. Since they immerse the baby in water in our faith, I was afraid he was going to be too little for that, but he was fine. He has managed to handle a (small and close quarters) house full of guests at that age as well, for two whole months, keeping his sleeping and eating routine, despite the hectic to-and-fro of relatives and guests from Romania and the US.

Parents out there forgive me for my self-righteousness, but I have never believed in raising a baby in vacuumed bubble, away from the real life. And I am so grateful to my sister and brother in law for not raising him like that! They have raised him in real time, with real life challenges, and real environments, with real people all around, and he’s managed to handle them all so far, more or less cranky.

He took a road trip (and yes, you read right: “road” trip, as in driven!) from Montreal, Canada, to Greensboro, North Carolina when he was five and a half months old. Sure, he cried, he was cranky, but he made it fine, and he did great. He even started learning how to sit on that trip. He then took a trip to Germany, to see his paternal grandparents, when he was ten and a half months old. He took a trip from there to his parents’ home country of Romania, at eleven months. And now, that he’s one, he’ll go back to Canada, his home, finally.

Patrick and I in Romania, about a week or so ago

Through it all, he made it fine, as he learned new things, and progressed at his “normal” pace, as any baby would do. He ate everything he was supposed to, he is learning new words, and he’s finally not afraid of crawling, so he’s got that figured out now. He’s learned to warm up to people, not just his parents, he’s socialized and happy just to be held.

He’s still tiny, but that’s his charm! He cries when he needs something, but don’t we all?!

I am proud of his parents for giving him nurture, attention, and most of all, love. He’s a loved baby, for sure, and he will always be. I am grateful to his parents for bringing this miracle into our families, and making our lives a bit brighter and a bit more hopeful: now, we can see the face of our future. That is a priceless feeling, for which I thank them!

In Romania, we have this custom (more like a superstition, but it's like an unwritten law), when the baby turns one. We place a number of items from life on a silver platter (remember how your grandma told you that you had it all handed out on a silver platter?!). Each item symbolizes something that you might grow to like, or grow to make into a trade, or something that might possess you negatively, as a vice. We choose to place things like money (wealth) , rings (wealth and interest in jewelry, or coquetry) , hammers (for boys: handy-ness, industriousness, etc), thread and needles (for girls – same connotation), a book, a pen (signs of higher education, perhaps), a church item (an icon, a cross or candle, maybe) – as a symbol of spirituality; something technical (a cell phone, a mouse, etc), a musical instrument (if we want our child to be musically inclined?!), a glass of wine, a pack of cigarettes, to suggest vices; your imagination is the limit here.

We place these items on a platter, and we let the one year old baby choose three of them. They say, in old Romanian tradition, that what they choose will shape their destiny. Patrick chose a cross, a pen and a syringe. As he was choosing, the crowd of guests was gasping: “Will he be a priest?” “Will he be a doctor?”. The godmother is supposed to prepare this, so you can imagine the responsibility I felt (and I feel) for all this.

Patrick choosing the pen

All I can say is: I am not sure what Patrick will be, or what he’ll chose as a trade in life, but from the bottom of my heart, I would like to put on a virtual tray a huge amount of health, love, luck and happiness – and I want him to pick all of them with both of his little hands. That’s what I would destine him for, if I had a power to do so.

And I always want to assure him that he will forever find two big open arms to catch him when he needs to be caught, as long as I live.

Thanks for being in our family and bringing us together as you did, Little Man. And thanks for being you! Your smile makes my day, and your antics give me reason to look forward to tomorrow. You have been blessed since day one, and we through you, and may you always be that way!

Happy birthday from your Nana*, and much, much love!!

*Nana means godmother in Romanian.

One of my favorite pictures of Patrick. Go, show them, Little Guy!